Monday, May 6, 2013

The Proverbial Turf War between Gay and Christian Athletes


 When I woke up late last Monday, the first things I saw trending on Twitter were “Tim Tebow” and “The Gay Athlete”. Immediately, I thought Tim Tebow was one of the several gay NFL players who had mulled the idea of coming out. Would absolutey explain the whole “still a virgin” thing, right?

Alas, Tim Tebow was not the dude to make history or become our generation’s Jackie Robinson. That title now aptly belongs to Jason Collins, former center for the Washington Wizards (and a whole shlue of other teams).

However, it seemed like fates aligned that day. Jason Collins made history for being the first openly gay player active in one of the three major sports in the country and Tim Tebow – “God’s quarterback”  – was unceremoniously released by the New York Jets. A perfect storm for conservative crazies to whip up something else to be pissed about other than Obama, women who do what they want with their vaginas, and the lack of prayers in schools.

The more tweets and comments I read about Collins, the more Tebow started to pop up in ways that didn’t concern his release. “So Jason Collins gets praised for coming out as gay, but Tim Tebow gets mocked for being a Christian? Wow”. Or perhaps my favorite, coming from consummate asshat and “former professional boxer turned just lazy out of shape man” Matt Barber. “We praise those who encourage sexual sin and mock those who follow the Bible.”

People, seriously, stop. Stop with the whole “why is it okay to make fun of Tim Tebow for being a good Christian but we commend Jason Collins for being gay?” 

First off, being “good” has nothing to do with the Bible. I hate to break it to you. Too many people who “follow the Bible” are shitty, and too many who don’t are good. Goodness has nothing to do with what religion you are or what brand of crazy you subscribe to. Tim Tebow claims to be a virgin and while I haven't stepped foot on a football roster, rumor has it this kid changed his nickname from "Mary" back in college. So let's stop the with good virgin shtick also while we're at it. Even if he is a virgin, that doesn't make him a good person. And much like Collins sexuality doesn't make him a better basketball player, Tebow's religious affiliations don't make him a better football player. 

When Tim Tebow can legally get fired in 29 states simply for being a Christian, then we'll talk. Because in theory, if free agent Jason Collins signed with the Miami Heat, Oklahoma City Thunder, Atlanta Hawks, Memphis Grizzlies, Cleveland Cavaliers, Detroit Pistons, Charlotte Bobcats, or the Philadelphia 76ers, just to name a few, he could get fired just for being gay. It’s like getting fired for being black. Or a woman. Or having an outtie bellybuttom. Want to know how many states Tim Tebow could get fired in for being a Christian who likes to kneel on the turf? None. Zero. In fact, if any team ever fired Tebow for being a Christian, he could sue and he would win without a doubt. Why? Because in every state, personal chosen faith based beliefs are protected, while orientation is not. Kind of ironic, considering orientation is an innate, immutable trait while people change their belief system every day. 

When Tim Tebow can't marry his Christian partner, then we'll talk. When Christians become a persecuted minority without certain rights then we'll talk. When religion becomes an innate, immutable trait that someone doesn't personally choose, then we'll talk. Until then, asking why it's okay to mock Tim Tebow for kneeling on the field and talking about being a virgin for God, it's because he personally chooses to believe in an invisible hippie in the sky that hates sex and subscribe to some (but clearly not all) parts of an ancient book that says a dude lived in a big fish for three days. It is a personal choice and he opts to talk about it. It’s like asking why is it okay to mock your friend who personally chooses to not shower, or personally chooses to listen to Indigo Girls. Because they choose to do it - they weight the pros and the cons of the choice they are making and opt that it's worth the opinions coming from the people who DON'T choose to do it. No one is born a Christian. No one’s personal religion is unchangeable. Ironic, as that tends to be a vocal false argument from the other side regarding orientation. And the beliefs that come along in any religion are more often than not a little out there. So yes, those personal choices are open to ridicule because they are personal choices, just like hair style, clothing style, musical taste, food taste, dating taste, etc. Yet, they are personal choices that come with protections. People are entitled to think I'm crazy if I worship a mouse in a teapot that lives on Jupiter and makes it rain when he's sad and makes it snow because he favors Eskimos. And to people like me, Christianity and Judaism and HInduism and Scientology all sound that crazy. But the beauty is, even if people think your belief is crazy, they can't take away your rights and your protections to practice it while being employed or being housed. Gay people don't have those protections. Gay people CAN get fired simply if their boss finds out they're gay. Gay people CAN be kicked out of housing if the landlord disagrees with them. See the distinction? That is why Collins is brave. Because sadly, there are still so many repercussions that come with the acknowledgement of one's orientation. Tebow's biggest issue with announcing his Christianity is people like me who have an opinion and nothing more. Collin's biggest issue? Getting fired. Getting the shit kicked out of him (though I don't know who would mess with a seven foot dude). Getting kicked out of an apartment. Denied service as a public accommodation. Being denied rights. That's why it's brave. That's why it's different than Tebow. Tebow has nothing to lose by professing Christianity other than a little ego when writers like me mock him for claiming to be a virgin. Collins has a lot to lose and he still chose to acknowledge his innate truth regardless. Yes, Matt Barber, that's brave. 

But yes, poor Tim Tebow, a white Christian male. How did he EVER survive growing up in America? What a story of overcoming the odds and being successful, because so few white, Christian males ever are successful, what with all those hurdles holding them back in life. Tough life, that Tim Tebow has. Fuck Martin Luther King Jr. Day, dude had it easy compared to poor Tim Tebow! Man can’t even kneel on a field and speak to the invisible sky man without people chuckling or throwing shade! Come on people. 

I have never, in all my online newshound reading, come across a story about a Christian child who committed suicide because other kids bullied them for being Christian. I have never read about a Christian in the US being denied service at a hotel, bakery, or florist because they believe in Jesus. I have never read about gay people tying Christians to a farm pole and leaving them for dead because of their beliefs. I have never heard of people being forced to endure shock therapy, or reparative therapy because they believe in Jesus or God or Mary. The importance of Jason Collins coming out not just to the sports world, but the world in general, can’t be compared to the fact that people make fun of Tim Tebow because in the rare instances he does something right on the field he attributes it to God. Christians have never had a tough time feeling welcomed in a locker room – hell, how many football teams pray before games? Christians never had to endure terms like “fag” and “queer” being hurled while in an opponent’s stadium. Christian kids were never at a loss for a Christian sports role model. But gay kids? To gay kids who play any sport, this makes a statement to them that they can be part of a team, too. They can contribute to a win. They can succeed regardless of those fans who might call them a fag. Or those bosses who might fire them just for being gay. Or those people who tell them they are going to hell just for being who they are. Comparing Tebow’s chosen faith - one that the majority of people in this country subscribe to - to Collins innate orientation that still holds unwarranted stigma and a lack of civil liberties does no good for anyone. They are two completely different aspects of a person with, sadly, very different protections and rights. Those who seek to put Tebow on a pedestal for embracing a popular, majority belief are taking away from the epic moment in history that Collins just made, and the countless lives he might have saved in the young LGBT community. Leave Tebow and his turf-kneeling out of this. 

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Single at 27. My Rebuttal to Julia Shaw




You got married at 23, so what am I waiting for?!

So asks Julia Shaw in a recent article “I married at 23. What are you waiting for??”

I read the title and cringed. It pained me to read the next two pages. I knew what was coming. A whole lot of “we didn’t need money to be happy” and “barely making the electricity bill for the month brought us closer” and a few “sex is so much more specia’s”. I suffered through the overwhelming self proclamation of maturity and commitment, the self righteous prophesy that growing up together as a married couple is better than establishing a personal identity first. And in between the bragging about making it through a year of law school together and their undying commitment for each other and the joys of shared phone service plans, I began to feel bad for this girl.

From the age of 18 until I was about 25, my main priority was being someone’s girlfriend and eventually, wife. I had no sense of self, no sense of who I was alone, even though I had been basically single for a while. My sister was married, my friends were all in relationships, and here I was, bartending my way through life, traveling, having fun and writing hoping to hit it big. I’m pretty sure today, my extended family thinks I am both asexual and sterile.

The last breakup I had almost killed me. I was 25 going on 26. The depression that set in from my inability to separate my self worth from the feeling of someone else admiring me and needing me lead to a case of depression that was so bad, I almost committed suicide. I had spent so many years focusing on one thing; Marriage. I was determined to get married by 27, be someone’s wife, be the other half of someone. Couple that desire with the rat race that became my friends and cousins who were not just getting hitched but popping out kids at an alarming rate. I was falling behind. Why didn’t anyone want me? What was wrong with me?

When the last guy I loved – a baseball player in the MLB – ended things, I fell apart. I began to think I would never get married, and thus, my life would have no meaning. Who was I if no man was telling me he wanted me to be his other half? What good was I if my life wasn’t worth sharing? There was no ring on my finger to let the rest of the world know that I was SO great that someone actually wanted to spend the rest of their life with me.

I tied a noose with a belt and I sat in my exposed bricked room in my upper east side apartment and wrote a suicide note. I was going to hang myself from the pipe that ran across my ceiling.

I don’t know what exactly stopped me from doing it. Fear that it would hurt. Concern about my mother and sister. The need to see my best friend Karl again before I went. The guilt that my roommate/best friend would probably be traumatized when she found me. I dont know. I was scared, and I was alone. But I couldn’t step off my window ledge. I unhooked the belt and stepped down.

I didn’t kill myself. Obviously. Instead, I booked a trip alone to Charleston South Carolina. I dipped into my savings account and treated myself at a five star hotel. Every day I wrote. I laid by the pool, went to the beach, ate the richest, fattiest foods and then I went jet skiing.

It was when I fell off the jetski – flung myself 10 or so feet off the side and lost my bikini bottoms - that I finally laughed for the first time in months. I got back on, sat in the middle of the ocean, watched the sun go down behind the marsh, took a deep breath and felt alive. This was life. This was how it should feel. And I didn’t need the baseballer or any other man to make me feel this way.

I went back to my hotel room that night, drank an entire bottle of Firefly vodka and I wrote a script. I looked back over the life I had lead the past six or so years and picked out the stories that mattered most, threaded together by the common theme that I had tended to date athletes. I hashed out the story line, the characters, my life in a treatment. The best trips, the biggest fights, the hardest parts, the greatest loves.

I sent the script and other material to an agent at William Morris Endeavor. They liked it, but had been representing someone similar so they passed. Knowing it had appeal, I kept going. On the third day of my trip to Charleston, I sat by the pool, again drinking sweet tea vodka and lemonade in my bikini and I Facebook stalked 50 agents from five agencies. I sent long, honest messages detailing who I was, where I was, how drunk I was, and why they should read my script.

Five agents responded. One changed my life. I signed with United Talent Agency a month later after I sat down for coffee with a partner of the company. I am now pitching my show in LA. I am a represented writer and whether I ever make it big or not, no one can ever take that feeling away from me.

Julia is sweet. She says, “the stability, companionship, and intimacy of marriage enabled us to overcome our challenges”. That she learned to be strong “for her husband”. What about strong for herself? Her husband was there for every problem, every hard time. She had someone, always. What would she do if she suddenly didn’t? How did she ever learn to cope alone if she never had to? She says people shouldn’t wait for their soulmate – they should just get married and hope God takes care of the rest. Marriage. Marriage. Togetherness. Two. Together. Companionship. Blah blah blah.

The real question is this – had she not met her husband, what would have gotten her through whatever challenges she faced in her future? To me, it appears that the only coping skill Mrs. Shaw has is the ability to cleave to her husband in a time of crisis. Try coming back from suicide watch on your own. Then we’ll talk overcoming challenges and what enables you to do so.

If I married the boyfriend I had when I was 20, I’d be divorced today. I am not the person I was at 20, now at 27. Had I married him at 21, as I planned, I would have missed more opportunities in my life that that marriage would have ever afforded me (or him). Writing that script gave me that clarity. Putting my life on paper and realizing how much I had done, seen, grown and lived through regardless of the fact that the majority of that time I was single, put my life and its meaning into perspective. I learned to suffer alone, I learned to grieve alone, and most importantly, I learned how to live alone. How to truly live, happily, without being someone else’s “other half”. I learned to be my own other half – I learned to be whole.

I am 27. In the last year since I had my breakdown, traveled to Charleston and wrote my script, I discovered this feeling that no man – no matter how much I had loved them – ever gave me. A sense of self. A sense of self that depended not on how someone else viewed me or felt about me – things I couldn’t control – but built upon my need to find something within myself worth living for. I built my self worth on a stable base of the abilities I knew I had with writing, my personal relationships with my friends and family who were the reason I didn’t hang myself that night, and the value of something I was able to create independent of someone else coddling me, catching me if I fell. I took risks that had no safety net, no husband to pick up the pieces. I spent so many years looking for a husband, my other half. What I ended up finding was me. Stefanie. And whether I meet my soul mate tomorrow and get married next year, or I am single until I am 90 having sex with athletes until I die, I have found a sense of purpose that does not revolve around someone else – it revolves around me. That life is invaluable, and yes, Mrs. Shaw, I will wait for a soul mate who is worthy to come into that life I’ve created. I am not taking the first penis who will have me just to have a warm body at night. My life is too important to risk that. I’m sorry yours was not. But hopefully God is in the details, eh?

I am 27. I am single. And I am about to embark on the most amazing journey of my life in the next year. I have traveled, laughed, loved, had my heart broken. I have fallen off a jetski, hit rock bottom, and climbed my way out. I have found purpose and enjoyment in things other than a husband. It took being single for so long for me to live a life worth writing about. It took a journey of God knows how many lonely nights, to figure out what was worth filling my days with. I have found a sense of self now that no man can ever break up with, no guy can ever walk away from, no husband can ever divorce from me. I will never lose this identity because it is not two halves, it is one whole. I do not regret being single at 27. I no longer feel a need to fill a void in my life with a man because I filled that void with my own accomplishments and experiences. And I do not mind being on my mother’s family Verizon plan.

At 27 I have lived a life. It isn’t a life I expected at 20. But it took being alone to truly understand how much it was worth. I could not have arrived here if I had gotten married at 23. I don’t envy a life filled with nights without heat or internet just to share a bed with someone. I do not envy a life lived untraveled just so I can share health insurance with a man. I do not envy not being forced to find strength within myself to pick myself up when I fell down, because I didn’t have a husband who did it for me. It made me stronger, better, and if and when I ever get married, it will make me a more capable, more independent, more in tune wife

My greatest hope – for many reasons – is that her husband never dies nor leaves her. She is a woman who clearly is so self conscious – despite her desperate bid for self confidence and maturity – that without the approval of a man – any old man, no soul mate status required – she does not feel life is worth living.

Life is worth living. And I am happy to be living it at 27 for myself and no one else.

I was not married at 23. What was I waiting for? Life. And it’s all happening now. Don’t ever settle. You will find it when you least expect it. And it comes from no one but yourself. 

Monday, May 14, 2012

Blog Issues

AH! Lots of people hitting the blog means my very limited HTML layout is having a mental breakdown... sorry for the technical difficulties, certain posts are up and down... hopefully will be fixed later tonight. 

Stef had a Stalker Part II

I haven't done a split blog post in a verrrry long time, I had to go back and see where I left this story off.


So, long story short, I'm now about to leave Philly that Sunday to come back home, have to work Monday, and after the fabulous weekend sex I was treated to, in the car ride back I was composing some epic e-mail to this chick. I mean honestly, how fucking idiotic can you be? You used your REAL NAME to make a fake texting account? Who does that? If you're going to harass someone, fuck dude at least cover the most basic bases of hiding your identity.


I get home and send a Facebook message. Went something like this:


Look Gabby Gee- clearly you have no idea who you are fucking with. I don't know where in your line of thinking you thought it was cool to spread rumors about me to dudes who don't know you, but not only have I made sure that every guy on the Flyers knows what a complete psychopath you are, I will make sure every Islander, New York Ranger, and if I can stretch it, Bruin, knows you're a fucking stalker. I have every intention of calling the Flyers and informing them that you are harassing players and their friends (I don't think "fuck buddy" would have gone over well in the Flyers office), and I will make sure you don't get a job in the closest five states to New York at any arena or venue. Further, I am considering taking legal action considering you told someone I had an STD, which is a complete fucking lie. You so much as mention my name, or the name of anyone I've fucked in the last ten year in passing, and I will make sure you get a restraining order slapped on your ass so fast, that you won't even be able to say 'Bryzgalov".


Here I think the situation was handled. Because if it were me, and I got caught doing something so incredibly shady, not only by the girl but by the guy who's team I like to stalk and follow, I'd be mortified. Wouldn't you? Lick your wounds, block on Facebook, pretend it never happened.


Dude, bitch comes back talking about the people her father knows. WHO SAYS THAT? She starts hurling that she has more connections than me and she was going to sue me.


Bitch was certifiably crazy. It took it to a point where she threatened to have her friends attack me that I finally said i was calling the cops and she backed down. She tried to reverse psych my ass, saying if I pressed any kind of charges it would look bad for me. When I stopped responding to her I got the typical terrified girl. "Ok just stop. This isn't funny anymore. Stop. I'm serious. This is so stupid".


She tried to convince me this is a normal thing for 22 year olds to do, and that it was just a joke. I then informed her that I told my hockey dude everything she said about him and his teammates, and that she'd have better luck getting a job at Victoria Secret than she would ever getting into an event where those guys were present again.


I did call the cops and I did consult a lawyer, but I didn't do anything other than give a record and keep my lawyer in the loop. I blocked her on Facebook and haven't had a bother since, and hopefully it stays that way, for her sake more than mine.


Women are fucking nuts dude. People wonder why I was so private with my Facebook account, especially after Sweet Home Alabama, it's because of crazy chicks like this that have no life. Girls that cant get the guys themselves and live vicariously through others in a bad way. This chick was so pathetic in the way she acted, I felt bad for her. And if Stef Williams feels bad for you, you know you must be in some seriously fucked up shape.


It ain't about who you know or who your daddy is. I guess everyone's different, but being able to say "my dad will save my job if you tell people the truth about how I'm anonymously (I use that word very loosely) harassing players of teams I work for and the girls they're hooking up with", isn't a win. It's a fucking sad, sad, sad, loss.


So there you have it. And people wonder why I was depressed, Jesus, I had crazy fan girls stalking ME and I wasn't even dating the guy. It's shit like this that makes me feel genuinely bad for the actual girlfriends. There are jersey chasers, and then there are girls like this - the batshit chubby ones who do anything to feel "part of it". Fucking nuts man.

Hardshells


Alright alright, it's sad how much of my blog day depends on whether I get internet at work or not. Christ.


Now that I'm settled and content eating breakfast (which includes TWO five hour energy drinks), let's get the week started.


Now, as much as I love lax, I am also aware that I'm one of the few weird ones who isn't dating a laxer, the mother of a laxer, or the sibling of a laxer, that will actually sit and watch games on ESPNU. With that being said, holy shit Maryland. Baby Terps are starting to get into Yankee status in terms of the years they take off my life.


First round last night started out fabulously for my Terps. a 6-0 run left them up by 5 a few minutes before the half. In the bag. Sold. 


WRONG. Lehigh comes out on a 7-0 run and all of a sudden Maryland is losing. The fuck, how is this shit happening? Lehigh's goalie, who is a freshman by the way, Poillon (someone can inform me how to pronounce it later), turned into a brick fucking wall stopping shots from Maryland at point blank range.


By the 4th, Maryland was still trailing 9-7 and I was having a mild panic attack in my basement bedroom. There are two times a year I usually turn into a manic fan; baseball playoffs and lax playoffs. My roommates have now experienced both. If I screamed "GET THE GROUND BALL" one more time, I would have died.


Somehow, Maryland tied that shit up (I'll admit I freaked and turned the game off for a few). And with a man up opportunity and 44 seconds left, Joe Cummings hung out behind the cage biding his time, cradling that shit like it was no biggie, pulled around and got a shot off that made it to the corner of the net and just like that, the world's greatest sideline celebration (MD Terps) got their big one of the night. 


I don't know how we pulled that shit off, because honestly when Lehigh started clicking, it was like they couldn't stop scoring. And when Poillon got his groove, he was all no fucking way are you getting a goal bro. It was terrifying. 


Anyway, three cheers for my top five players of the game. 


First, credit where due, that kid Matt Poillon was a fucking BEAST. Watching him makes stops made me angry. Kid definitely didn't look like a freshman between the pipes. 



Second, my baby Terp goalie Niko Amato. Love this kid, partially because he'll always just be so young to me, partially for how he dominated last year, partially because every time I look at him he reminds me of an Eskimo (in a good way...don't really know if there's a bad way to look at someone like an Eskimo). Solid goal tending is important and this kid steps up to the plate every time.




Third, Drew Snider. Not only is Drew from the Pac North West, so I already love him, he set the scoring tone for the Terps last night and really was grinding it out. I give him lots of credit on his ability to score and make plays happen.



Forth, little Holmes!! His big brother, who wore 17 back in my day, is one of my best friends and it's good to see a dominating presence at the X for the Terps. Curtis has hot hands and even had a goal. I feel like a piece of my college days is still at MD when I see a Holmes in a number 17 jersey. Charlie Raffa gets a halfway shoutout considering he won 10 faceoffs as well. PS, Travis, where the fuck have you been?



Finally, Joe Cummings. Dude scored a goal that is the shit of legends in Terps lacrosse. I think had he held the ball for a second longer I was going to legit throw my tv against my brick wall. Dude had some serious patience and that was some serious senior leadership, to not only hold out for th right moment, but to actually make that shot with the time remaining and make sure Lehigh couldn't counter. Had he not made the shot, he'd have been on my shit list for quite some time, but he did so right now I'd probably make out with him. Also, just go look at his profile on UMTerps.com. Kid has a lax resume that puts most others to shame. 




Laxtitutes of College Park and Bethlehem PA, get on this shit and thank these guys for the awesomeness they bring to the game! God if it weren't basically illegal for me to do it, I'd do it myself. 

Happy Monday

New posts will be up today as long as the internet at work decides to show up. If not, they'll be up tonight and you can bide your withdrawal through my Brobible article. Yep, new one up today, go check it out and laugh at my attempt to orchestrate some kind of "female broness". I think the alternative word would be "sluttiness" but whatever. I probably should have posted last night but I was too busy housing Hale and Hearty and being the psychopath fan who screams at my TV when the Terps were down 9-7 to Lehigh in the 4th quarter. Priorities, man. 


Until then, kick start your day with this little snippet. This movie wasn't great, but I could watch this scene on repeat for hours. Do enjoy. 


Sunday, May 13, 2012

New York > LA

Just saying. You go from looking like this playing in LA...






To this playing in New York.



I mean....pretty obvious. 

Friday, May 11, 2012

Stef's Politico Message of the Year





So I know I haven't gotten as many posts up this week as I hoped, but with the Brobible stuff and another project underway, extra shifts so I can actually pay bills, I literally slept for 17 hours last night. I promise this weekend there will be more scathing, shit talking articles about sex and sports, so LAY OFF. Just kidding. But seriously, chill.


For a hot sec before I have to hop in the shower after my 17 hour nap, I wanted to talk about Bristol Palin. Because she's been making the waves the last 24 hours (17 of which, did I mention I was sleeping?) about her blog (or rather her blog written by her ghostwriter because, seriously, bitch please). Now, I kind of get why this girl is "famous". She is single handedly the representation of conservative hypocrisy in the 13-25 age range. Where as all the closeted gay reps and pastors hit the 40-80 range. Bitch has all these opinions about her mom (fine) and politics (really?) and social norms (mmmk). And she doesn't even have her high school diploma. So pardon me if I don't take a word this girl says seriously, and if every time she speaks I opt to rip her words to shreds.


Long story short, if you don't know what she said this week, you can go here to check it out. It's too long. But she basically insinuated two things - one, DEMOCRATIC LIBERAL HYPOCRISY FEAR!!!!! And two, Obama is making major political decisions not at the aid and suggestion of his cabinet or congress or people who know shit, but by the requests of his daughters Malia and Sasha. He had mentioned in his recent monumental yet pandering announcement that sitting at the dinner table listening to his daughters, some of whom have friends with same sex parents, it would never be in their world view that those friends' parents who be treated differently. And he said that was a huge eye opener for him.


So first, Bristol goes on to say liberal hypocrisy because when Michelle Bachmann (remember her? her husband is hitting the 40-80 age range of conservative hypocrisy as he looks like the fat gay character from Modern Family) said she'd be "submissive to her husband like a good Christian", she got raked across the coals. 


Look chickie, huge difference between doing whatever the fuck your husband says because you believe in the Bible, and listening to your kid's story about how at soccer practice Janet's two moms were so cool because they brought Gatorade instead of water and thinking "wow, my kids don't even see lines of difference". So, let's leave the HYPOCRISY AND ANTIFEMINISM!!!! fear caps alone for a bit. There's a huge difference between being biblically submissive to a man and listening to your kids talk about their lives and considering it, and if you don't believe me, go read the Bible.


Second, she goes on to talk about how his kids watch too much Glee, and Obama should be a leader and lead his family to "the right way of thinking". Which apparently is that gay marriage is wrong. When Sasha or Malia talk about their friends' families, he shouldn't just nod his head and smile like my dad used to do, he should say "now, let me make this clear, they might be nice people but THEY ARE NOT REALLY MARRIED AND IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE. Who scored the winning goal?"


Bitch, you got knocked up by some fucking loser who posed for Playgirl and then knocked up another snowbilly blonde with clumpy ass eyelashes (see here. "we forgot the birth control pills" I love it), he owes you money, you didn't graduate high school or even attempt college but you had time to go on Dancing with the Stars and get neck fat lipoed off your face, and unlike other women in your position, because of your fake fame made from your mother's inability to read a map and your inability to wrap it up, you got to buy a house in Arizona for $140k. Want to talk about reality? Maybe if your parents were more open to the fact that teenagers have sex no matter how many times they're told not to, instead of pretending you were hanging out with Levi for his interesting conversation, and had the "being safe is better than hiding it" talk like my mom had, you'd have gone to a gyno, gotten on the pill and not had a baby before you were old enough to even vote for your mother when she was running. Maybe if your dad was a leader, you wouldn't have been fucking with a guy who can't spell moose, but loves to hunt them. I'm not the biggest fan of Obama, but I'm a HUGE fan of reality and the reality is gay people exist, they raise kids, they are happy most of the time, people have sex, not everyone who has sex wants babies and therefore they should be educated about access to birth control, and no, your mom can't see Russia from your house. That's reality. She claims Obama's kids watch too much Glee and are garnering their reality from there? Well I'd rather my kids garner a sense of reality from Glee than a sense of reality from Teen Mom 2. PS - there was a student on Glee who was pregnant, so really Bristol? You must have missed that season. Also, considering "vanity" is a deadly sin, maybe you should have skipped that season of Extreme Makeover before you got the fat sucked out of your neck. Or, I'm sorry, was that for medical purposes?


I don't know why this girl's 15 minutes of fame stretched into four years of assholery, but sweet Jesus, someone needs to get her a PR person who isn't Michelle Bachmann's husband. At the end of the day, I do believe Obama is pandering a bit because they gay vote will matter, especially with this nonsense in North Carolina (fun fact of the day: the last time NC tried to change its constitution regarding marriage, it was to ban interracial marriages back in 1876), and I find the "but states should be allowed to make their own laws about gay marriage" to be a safe cop out to a very unsafe but LOGICAL statement of "I support gay marriage", at the end of the day, whatever reason he said it, he's right. There is nothing remotely right about Bristol Palin's opinion. Nothing. She has no clear definition of reality and certainly lives a life that only women who have appeared on Teen Mom have led. Is it mean that part of me is hoping her son turns out gay? Because I wonder if then when her 16 year old bastard child comes up and says "mom, everyone is bullying me because I'm gay, and I can't take it anymore", she will turn around and say "that's really nice sweetheart, but being gay isn't right, you should never be allowed to get married and stop watching Glee, it's rotting your mind". 


Bitch. Please.


UPDATE:


So I posted a link to this blog post on Palin's own blog comment section, and while it was read by her blog's admins ( can see the admin page is an URL resource), the comment itself was declined. So much for open dialogue sweet pea. If you can't hack the criticism, don't write it. 

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

From NBA to Porn?


I'm not an NBA fan. I find NBA to be slow and boring (people say the same about baseball to me, so whatever) and college basketball is so much more compelling. A way better struggle, so to speak. NBA is more for the atmosphere, the who's who of who might be sitting next to you if you get good seats at the Garden. Like, I don't get it, the first 3/4 of scoring in a game where you can score 110 means jack shit, how do you clap 50 times for 50 baskets? And you're sitting next to fucking Justin Bieber. I mean, no. Just not my style. 


Anyway, despite my disdain for the NBA, my good friends at Sportsgrid clued me in to Greg Oden, and I had to chuckle. Brings back fond memories of Grady Sizemore. Oden was the number one draft pick from Ohio State and then entered the 2007 draft where he was selected by the Portland Trail Blazers. Long story short, dude had some knee issues that plagued his career, he was waived this year by the Trail Blazers and now he's a free agent with only 82 games under his belt in five years. Not looking too good for a dude who had high expectations. 


Right now, he's known more for his nude pics than his playing skills in the NBA. There's a new article out on Grantland.com that I found pretty interesting and it reminded me of my post from earlier this week about athletes and depression. This kid has in theory, been through a lot. Pulled through the ringer so to speak in terms of athletic hopes and dreams. High potential met with mediocre reality ruined by injury. In college, he apparently lost his childhood best friend in a car accident, and it just seems, as Grantland also said, a dark cloud followed this kid around. And in reading his interview, it sounds like he has been teetering on the brink of depression, and who could blame him? The higher the hopes, the greater the fall. 


In 2010, he was hit also with a leaked nudie pick scandal, a la Grady Sizemore. But I have to give the dude credit, of all the excuses I've heard when nude pics were leaked, his seemed the most honest. 


"When a girl sends me 100 pictures, I have to send something back every now and then. I’m not an asshole.”


Hey, at least he's not wholly selfish. Fuck it, he has a huge dong, he wants to show it off in bathroom mirrors, I get it. Its how I feel about my stomach and ass. I once traded a semi-nude pic to a friend for a retweet. Yep, I'm THAT slutty. Good times. Gotta use what ya got while you can. 


You all know my feelings on nude pics. a.) leaking them is dick and no matter who I dated or how bad they hurt me, I'd never leak. b.) I really don't find it to be anything to be ashamed of, and maybe I'm the only one. Fuck it dude, shit happens. There are way worse things someone could be doing than sending nude pics. Yah, it's embarrassing and I'm sure if any of mine leaked I'd have to pop a few Xanax, but what's the difference? It's tits and ass, hidden under clothes, probably going to a dude I either loved a la baseball player or a guy who I want to have rebound sex with a la hockey player. I'm not going to apologize for that anymore than I would for choosing to have ACTUAL sex with them. This dude shouldn't have to apologize, and I honestly give him credit for being so "this is what it is" about it. 


Further, I LOVE that porn agents called him. I think it's awesomely hilarious. It says a lot about his sexual potential, ya know? I mean, I didn't hear about Sizemore getting any calls, and I'm sure none of the pics I have of the boys I've sexted would ever get a call from the big leagues of porn. 


Hopefully this kid gets back on track with his life. He seems to have drive - like he said, he could have taken an offer from another tam and just sat on the bench and instead he opted to remove himself from the game and rehab himself back to top health. He seems very honest about his approach and the shit luck he's battled in life. It's a rare quality to find an athlete who isn't all about self promotion and appearance. You guys should check out the Grantland article if you get a shot. It's long, but a good read and something to take into consideration the next time you feel frustrated with your point in life. God knows we've all been there.