Friday, November 26, 2010

Chasing the Jersey - Bitch You're Not Qualified

So this shit happened a while ago, but I thought I'd tackle it because some people have asked me about my concern over my Blackberry pictures and also, because I literally can't stand the bitch.

So if you don't know who Carrie Prejean is, your life is a little bit more lovely than most. Bitch is a 25 year old former beauty pageant failure, who thinks something called "opposite marriage" exists alongside the "right for everyone to get married, which makes our country so great". Yeah, bet you failed 12th grade social studies.

She probably would have been crowned Miss USA in 2009 but wasn't because she spoke her stupidity about gay marriage, not only showing her inability to form a grammatically correct sentence or her complete disregard for the word "heterosexual", but the fact that she's also a hypocritical right wing "Christian" idiot. Bitch got slammed, then made up some more bullshit about how Christian she is which is why she believes gays shouldn't have the right to marry for money like she does. Then some text pictures and videos surfaced of Carrie's one woman finger show, and bitch had to roll over and apologize to God for being such a tramp. Personally, I didn't need her to apologize for being such a tramp, I needed her to apologize for being such a hypocrite.

Lo and Behold, Carrie landed herself an Oakland Raider QB, Kyle Boller. Credit to Prejean, her jersey is relatively hot in certain pictures and I'd probably bang him, though apparently he's a hard core Christian and these two didn't bump uglies until the wedding night. Yeah, I bet she just deep throated him every day. Because that's the Christian thing to do. God hates premarital sex, not blowjobs people! There's a reason he made her mouth so big and it's so she didn't succumb to the pressures of premarital sex, that she could find an alternate! God has a plan for everyone, bitches.

Dude's not a solid like, Tom Brady or even Tony Romo. Signed in the first round of the NFL draft by the Baltimore Ravens, dude got fucked behind McNair at the time, then basically lost out to two other QBs, then was traded to the Rams where he apparently sucked balls, and now he's on the Raiders and everyone I know hates the Raiders, so I'll just agree that he sucks.

Now bitch is pregnant with their super Christian self pleasuring baby, and I'm wondering how long it'll take for these two to end up in some kind of scandal. Like, you know they probably do church sponsored anti gay marriage events and meanwhile are most likely having like, random swinger parties in their house.

Here's the thing about Prejean. I don't hate her for her opinion on gay marriage because to me, she is simply uneducated. The fact that she used to term "opposite marriage" speaks volumes about her own understanding of the gravity of the whole equality thing. I was more pissed about what she came out with over the whole sex cell phone video and pics.

I've sent a LOT of videos and pics in my day and age. Soccer hottie and hockey dude could start their own porn production company and magazine from the shit they've gotten from me. And if (and when, most likely, because you know how the internet is) that shit ever comes out, I would never ever deny it was me or say I regretted it. Sorry bitches, I was getting laid by hot guys. I'm going to suddenly apologize and be remorseful for something that hurt no one and made more than one person extremely happy? Yeah, fuck that. Trust me when I say I'm not ashamed that those pics have been sent to the dudes they've been sent to. The only reason Prejean apologized was because she had been riding high on the Christian support wave over the gay marriage thing, and then it came out that she likes to get down with her index finger on certain occassions, and the hypocrisy came through. If she didn't aplogize, she'd have the gay marriage supporters (and the general supporters of non-stupid shit in general) hating her anyway, and the Christian right turning their backs on her. So she apologized, said it would never happen again and then married a good, wholesome QB.

Bitch doesn't deserve a jersey chaser title, because she's too ashamed of the shit she's done to get there. She's lied and scammed her ass there and for that, she doesn't really register in my book. She's a hot lady, with some bad fake tits and good hair and that's it. She tried to get political and failed, so now she's trying to be the next Gisele Bundchen. Woman, if you ever step foot in a Victoria Secret catalog, I will personally burn all of my VS undies and start going commando. Take your 4th string QB and go have a threesome with Jesus. Thanks.

Here she is posing as Nancy Grace's long lost daughter.

And here he is at something to do with the Playboy Corporation. I'm sure he was being super Christian, he was just there for the food.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh...can't STAND her! Hypocritical bible-thumper. Hate to say it, but I hope Boller cheats on her - with a guy! LOL!