I went to a cricket match in England a year and a half ago. By halfway through, I was entirely convinced I got the concept. I could totally explain the game to someone, I got this, it's almost like baseb--WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? WHAT DID THAT GUY JUST DO? WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? IS THAT LEGAL IN THIS SPORT? IS HE EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE FIELD? And all my supposed learned knowledge of the sport of cricket was shot to shit. And since, I've conceded to the idea that it's not a sport I was meant to learn about.
However, I'm starting to change my mind. Why?
Dude is from Australia, which automatically makes him hotter than the average American fuck. Accents I can deal with? Ozzie ones. Second, he's an athlete, even if he's involved in a sport that, to me is the bastard love child of baseball and tennis with hockey's padding. Third, he looks like this:
Hi, are you donning your whites and buying your bat things now? Because I sure as fuck am. Pip pip mother fuckers, Quantas has a new frequent flyer. Dude is so fucking hot he looks photoshopped.
Can't find anything about a wife, and seeing as he's only 26, there's a strong possibility dude is using that body to get as much Ozzie (and international) vagina as he can. And fuck me, I don't blame him. If dudes like this stayed celibate, my life would have no meaning. Seriously. He is basically something all jersey chasers should strive for. I don't care how meaningless his sport is in my country. I'd probably bang him if he collected tin cans and lived off of CoinStar machines, honestly.
Can any of my readers in Australia clue me in on this shit? Ozzie Rules I kinda get and can figure out, cricket I'm still all like, hey, is that a homerun? No? Wrong game? Okay cool.