Thursday, November 18, 2010

It's LARRY

So I deleted this originally, then got back on the band wagon. A lottttt of people have e-mailed me asking if I ever had any sort of situation with Landon Donovan. Correct answer? Absolutely not.

Larry (as many of his teammates call him) and I have had the extreme (dis)pleasure of chatting on a few occassions. He managed to insult my job, then lay the worst wrap I've ever had laid on me for a few minutes. Literally, like Brick Tamlan "you're invited to the pants party" type of flirtation. Solid FAIL.

I'll do LD a solid, and keep the rest of the convos private. LD has this persona of "I can fuck anyone I want", and I really think Bob Bradley's given him that complex, because you KNOW Landon is the son Bob always wanted (and Michael Bradley's mortal nemesis). And under normal circumstances, I wouldn't drop actual names. But LD is a one of those hilarious encounters where it's only funny because it was Larry (Larry is what a lot of his teammates call him. Totally totally fitting, right?). Landon has some possible fake baby mama drama (aka he banged a load of bitches and has a legit concern he might have passed his receding hairline traits onto another generation). Plus he has his whole maybe I'm married/maybe I', not situation going on with that tall(er than him) lady friend, Bianca. So I'll spare him the convos. But, for the people wondering, no, I've never had the pleasure of standing taller than Larry (vertically or horizontally) and I've never had the opportunity to rub his sweet, sweet receding hair line. Number 10 is not a jersey I plan on chasing any time soon. Sorry Lar.

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