Monday, November 15, 2010

The Jenn Sterger Phenomenon

Okay, so I'm not a huge NFL fan. College football I can do (though my team sucked while I was there and only this year made a bowl for the first time since I applied back in 2003), but something about NFL just bores the fuck out of me. It also has to do with the concept of sitting in -17 degree weather to watch it. I'd have to be 14 kegs in and 4 blankets wrapped to survive it, and even then, I'd have no idea what sport I was watching. Point being, I don't really do the whole football thing as much as I wish I did.

However, even with my limited knowledge, the whole Brett Favre/Jenn Sterger thing has popped up on my radar recently. I dislike Jenn Sterger for multiple reasons. One, she used to work at Sports Illustrated, and in my opinion (and the opinion of several other editors and writers there who had the extreme pleasure of dealing with her), had no business whatsoever working there. Two, she was once on some stupid thing about Carlos Bocanegra, the captain of the US soccer team, where her boobs looked terribly fake and she just sounded like total trash. If Bocanegra ever went there, I'd stop watching US soccer all together. Three, I feel like the girl tries too hard. She has that "I used to be an escort and hang out with Elliot Spitzer" look to her. She has kind of a receding hair line, a wide Miley Cyrus kinda face. I mean, call me crazy, but there are way hotter women in the world. To me, putting this girl on TV is just as bad as putting Kimberly Jones on the field at Yankee Stadium. No draw whatsoever. I'd rather see a Victoria Secret model on the field, and I'm a woman. I mean, if you're going for hot, at least skip the trashy fake boobs. Please.

ANYWAY...here we have this whole thing with the explicit texts and voicemails and phone calls, and talk of Favre being a perv and harassing women who worked for the NFL and "bothering" Jenn Sterger, and possible lawsuits. Let me just say one thing. And maybe I am entirely wrong. But I would bet a large sum of money on the idea that those texts weren't unwanted. Because if I've learned anything from my excessive sexting with certain athletes, it's that rarely do guys send if they don't get something on the other side. My situations were always a give and take, particularly with my soccer hottie. Rarely were there days where a picture was sent without anything on my end warranting the exchange. Why do I think Sterger is clamming up? Girl knows that Favre's got a bad case of the wifey, and she never planned on getting caught. She wants to maintain that "serious, sports journalist full of integrity, not silicone" demeanor (of which she never had to begin with), and admitting she stoked the fires of a married dude isn't on her to do list anytime soon. What, did he have her number for emergency press conferences? Come on. She got caught, just like he did, and she's letting him take the whole fall. Will she come out unscathed? Definitely not. I can't see her coming back to Versus anytime soon. She's made it clear that, while no one is admitting that this whole little textual affair was a two way street, she probably has issues saying no to the QB's of the world. She's like four steps up from the Tiger Woods broads. I bet he even promised her he'd make her a real anchor some day. Sweet.

I don't get the whole fascination with her, do you? I mean, credit where due, she's got a bangin' body, but the obvious fake boobs and the Landon Donovan hairstyle, I mean...she kind of looks like Ashley Tisdale's broke ass sister. Why the big draw? She basically looks like a Miller Light Girl, let's be real.

And then you have Favre's wife. Lady has put up with a LOT of shit from Favre in the last two decades. But I did love her recent interview where she said she was "praying" about the situation and keeping her faith in her marriage and God to help right the wrong. Bitch, please. Your husband is banging Miller Light Girls, and you're talking about having a conversation with Jesus. Why don't you have a conversation with your LAWYER instead? Have a little self respect and realize that he is a.) never retiring from football and b.) never retiring from the random vagina and c.) Jesus was never a Packers fan. Cut your losses and chill with Jesus with a nice fat child support check. Donate it to the church, if you like.

It's sad, because for the longest time I always thought Brett Favre was how they portrayed him in There's Something About Mary. A nice down home midwestern country kinda guy that rocked the straight legs and owned the red hair. Maybe he's not insulting Warren, but apparently he's insulting a lot of other people these days.

2 comments:

  1. haha yes, glad someone else agrees that Jenn is not 100% innocent here. I know quite a few "jersey chasers" or what have you. They all agree that Brett Favre did not just get her number and decide to randomly send her pics of his penis. She had to reciprocate the affection someway somehow. Also Brett's wife is dumb, I bet this isnt the first time, so yeah, LAWYER UP!

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  2. Thank you for this. I can't stand her. She is on a sports show where it's doubtful she knows what is going on. Great stuff by the way.

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