Sunday, November 14, 2010

A little intro...

Welcome to my fabulous new blog. I clearly got a D+ in Computer Science in college, so my HTML skills are limited to whatever templates they offered me. I'll work on that eventually. Right now I'm a content over looks kinda girl - a little bit of a departure from my normal personality.

I spent a long time contemplating ways to share some of these stories. And I went back and forth on whether or a.) whether or not I even wanted to share them b.) whether anyone would give a shit and c.) whether the stories were as funny as I thought some of them were. Finally, I came to the conclusion that for all the negativity I'll get (and I know there will be tons), I'm not the only girl who's been here before. I also know that there's a huge double standard when it comes to women who write about "humorous" sexual situations and guys. ie: Tucker Max. I remember once sharing some of these stories with potential publishers, and being told my stories were "desperate". And I mean, trust me, some of them are. But I didn't know peeing in a kitty litter box or shitting all over yourself after fucking a midget (Tucker Max at his finest) were considered anything but pathetic and desperate. Apparently I was wrong.

Here's a little warning. I like sex. I've had a a lot of it. 70% has been terrible. The other 30% has been decent, if not good, in some way or another. I don't apologize for enjoying sex, or having it when I can. It doesn't make me a slut or a whore, it makes me capable of making decisions for myself. I've had sex because it felt good, I've had sex because the guy was hot, I've had sex because the guy was famous (once. Involved an actor and puppets and all sorts of terrible, frightening memories) and I knew it'd make a hilarious story. I've had sex to try to get back and ex-boyfriend, to try to feel better about myself, and just for fun. I don't regret it, I wouldn't change it, and if you have a problem with it, I suggest you leave the blog. I will not apologize for the way I think or feel about sex, my ability to laugh at it, and my ability to cop to the embarrassing parts of it your 10th grade health teacher wants you to know happen to everyone. Women can fuck for fun, too. Women can enjoy sex just for the hell of it, too. And women can fuck for a story just as well as a guy can. So please don't give the "funny, embarrassing, detached sex stories" copyright to my male counterparts. I'd like a little piece too, and after all the shit I've been through, trust me, I'm entitled.

There are going to be a lot of stories about past situations, sports I've followed, athletes I've been with, tears I've cried over said athletes, things I've done to get to said athletes. I guess I'm trying to evaluate how I ended up being such a God damn jersey chaser in the typical sense, and where I fall out of that category when it comes to my motives. Also, to save myself lots of legal troubles, I've learned from the likes of the Washingtonienne and figured out changing names, descriptions and teams will benefit all of us in the long run. To be honest, I'm not on here to blow up any ex's or embarrass anyone but myself. So take the names and teams and such with a grain of salt. Their names and teams aren't the important part, which is why changing them will not effect the stories. The fact that they played a sport and were who they were in terms of their personality is what had the effect on my life. So yes, all names and teams have been changed to save myself from going to jail.

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