Friday, November 26, 2010

They're on a Boat

So I don't really get this whole Cameron Diaz and A-Rod thing. Personally, I'm not a big A-Rod fan. Love what he's done for the Yanks and all that shit, he's put up with a lot of bullshit and, in my opinion, handled it pretty well (though he's put himself in most of the situations ANYWAY), but I don't see the attraction other than the money and the whole like, fame thing. My mom loves him, thinks he's super hot. I think he has purple lips and creepy gerry curlish hair and it's just not my style. I'd bang him for the pinstripes alone.

Anyway, I personally liked his ass with Kate Hudson. I like Kate Hudson because (up until last year), bitch was flatter than the world in 1379, and she rocked that shit better than most. Then she got a mini-boob job and she became another stereotype, but still, I liked that she came to games with Kurt and they seemed very into being normal. AKA, I believe that he did as well as he did and helped us win a World Series because of Kate Hudson. I'm a selfish bitch that looks for opportunities FOR MYSELF, so, yeah, since we lost to Texas, I indirectly blame Cameron for not having the same magic that Kate had. Bitch.

Anyway, apparently Cameron and A-Rod were banging their late 30's bodies together for a while, then broke up in October (totally thought it was earlier than that, guess not). Now they've been photoed on a boat in Florida. The New York Post had one of the funniest fucking descriptions of the whole situation:

"The Yankee slugger and the Hollywood hottie sunbathed together Tuesday on the deck of a Fountain boat, getting cozy with their clothes barely on.

Diaz, 38, wore a skimpy black bikini and A-Rod, 35, went bare chested, two beautiful people laying side-by-side, showing off muscles they toned earlier in the day at a South Beach gym.

The pair spent the afternoon floating around on their pleasure craft with a private pilot and the paparazzi in tow.

From a distance, they appeared engaged in thoughtful conversation, but sunglasses shielded any chemistry in their eyes."

Ok, like, seriously NYPost? Are you selling pointless gossip or writing a Harlequin Romance Novel, because I'm not really sure. He went bare chested? He's on a fucking yacht in Florida, was he supposed to be wearing a God damn sweater? Pleasure craft? Are you directing a Cinemax late night soft core porn video? "The sunglasses shielded any chemistry in their eyes". Yeah, or you know, the sun. Either or, chemistry, sun.

I don't think Cameron is anything that fabulous. Funny? Yes. The Sweetest Thing is one of my fav drunk girl movies. But her body is average, her boobs are oddly shaped, and she's a blonde. Sorry, I'm just not there. As for him, like I said, I don't make out with dudes who look like they're suffering from hypothermia when it's 97 degrees outside. These two beautiful people can have each other on a boat bare chested and eye fucking each other with sunglasses on. But I'd still take Kate Hudson instead.

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