Alright, so Melissa had a question last night regarding my aversion to TOEFL athletes. AKA dudes who aren't native English speakers (why do I feel like that is the unPC term? Oh well, going with it).
Part of me thinks it had to do with my education. I don't mean that in a snobby way, at all. I mean that in an "English has always been the main focus of my education from age 5" and "I had to take intermediate French twice" way. Language is one of those things that doesn't register in my head. I took French for, collectively, six years, and I can say maybe like, a handful of complete sentences like "where is my dog" and "I have three people in my family". And because I was an English major, I put emphasis on the way people speak. I am a snob in that sense, which is weird because all I do on here is curse like a fucking sailor. But in person, I'm a big grammar person and I correct people when they say good instead of well. It physically hurts my ears.
So for me, the whole broken English thing was never attractive. Especially French. Spanish, to me, always sounds very high pitched...like all the dudes I work with at my bar, the barbacks and stuff, I love them, but I feel like if they were speaking English, they'd have a deeper voice. It has to do with pronunciations and annunciations and shit I think. I've met a few soccer dudes who spoke French and Spanish as a first language, and while they were hot, and bangable since I think "do you want to fuck" is universal, the idea of dating them long term and dealing with that barrier all the time is so unappealing to me.
However, Melissa also asked if there are any athletes I'd make the exception for, and obviously there are a few.
Iker Casillas has been mentioned on here before. He's the goalie for the Spanish national team, so he has a World Cup under his belt. He also plays professional for Real Madrid in La Liga. He's a total hottie and I'd definitely take some lessons from my barback to make that shit work out.
Kévin Gameiro is also another one. He's French (ugh) and plays soccer for the French national team, who sucked balls this summer in South Africa. He reminds me of a guy I used to have something for on the US team, a little bit. I think it's because he looks young. He plays in Ligue 1 for FC Lorient. He's a total hottie, albeit a creepily young looking one, and he actually has that all American boy look going on. I still have my tenth grade regent study guide for French in my closet. I could totally work out an entire conversation pre-boning this kid. Voulez-vous le boeuf? Vous aiment une bière? Pouvons-nous avoir le sexe? I GOT IT.
Francois Beauchemin is a defenseman for the Toronto Mapleleafs. Straight outta QC which means he speaks French and has a snooty fucking attitude (sorry dudes, I lost my luggage in Montreal once and those bitches couldn't have been more unfriendly or less helpful so I judge). But I'd still bang him. He also looks REALLY hot in full uniform. Not in uni, ehhh.. But he is also the alternate captain which means he has some kind of credibility when it comes to his skills. I'd go there, I admit it.
Surprised I wouldn't do the Christiano's of the world? I don't do the Euro thing. I don't do the questionable sexuality thing either. Any dude who spends more time grooming his hair, waxing parts of his body, and wearing tighter clothes than me, is not my style, however "hot" he may be. Ronaldo is too pretty. I need a little bit of manliness.
I definitely have a few more I could name, but in light of the fact I have to head out to work, I'll leave it here for now. Bonsoir bitches.