Monday, December 20, 2010

Athletes Who Are NOT Getting Laid Anytime Soon?

The New York Giants.

The first three quarters of that game, there was so much hope alive in my bar (aside from my own which was slowly getting killed by southern tourists and hot totties), it was mildly exciting. MIchael Vik, who I hate because dude kills dogs and is a dbag, wasn't excatly running circles around The Meadowlands Blue Crew, but then in the 4th quarter it all fell apart.

DeSean Jackson is probably going to get more sex than he has in his entire career as a football player this week. People in Taiwan who don't even know what football is want to sleep with him because they heard his name through all the cries of desperation in New Jersey (there are always cries of desperation in New Jersey, to be fair.)

So yeah, sorry New York, put your penises away (Matt Dodge, I'm talking to you), more than likely they won't be used for a little bit, because you blew a huge game and now are on the brink of not making playoffs. God, EVEN THE JETS WON YESTERDAY. And they have the forces of Jenn Sterger working against them! Come on Giants, get it fucking together!


  1. Even though he's a Jet and went to the University of Spoiled Children, I still think Sanchez is HOT. Although, he came off as kind of a dork on HBO's Hard Knocks.

  2. I loathe Vick, that disgusting dog killer. I HATE how idiot Philadelphians are embracing him just because he's winning games. He is scum.

  3. hey hey Mark Sanchez is smoking hot in a f'n uniform (but kinda nerdy/dorky without as Courtney pointed out)... and I love the JETS and we made the damn playoffs today! thank you Jacksonville...
    and MVick will prob get his shit banged so much off this season that he prob won't remember his own name! f'n hate him tho b/c of the dog sitch...
    DeSean Jackson will get it 100x more tho