Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dude is into another kind of streak(ing) anyway.

So Brett Favre aka the dude from Something About Mary, as I like to recall him, didn't start a football game for the first time in 297 consecutive games. Tragic, I know. Try to withhold your tears, dear friends. I KNOW IT'S HARD.

Please. Dude's like 57 and wear's Levi's. Or Lee Wrangler. Whatever. Either way, terrible jeans. You have Tom Brady being the spokesdude for Uggs, the ugliest and most overpriced shoe in the world, and then you have Favre appealing to the "i live in a town of 876 in a state people haven't heard of since 5th grade geography" crowd by repping jeans that fall apart after like 5 washes and also look like they could double as a green tote bag for groceries. What the fuck is wrong with America? Also, he wanted to bang Jenn Sterger. That in an of itself is more tragic than this end to the streak.

He apparently sprained a joint in his shoulder last week, and so he couldn't play tonight. AKA, dude was whacking off too hard to non-sexual texts from Jenn Sterger and whacked a little too hard and pulled something that wasn't his dick. I bet his wife is consulting Jesus as we speak. Those two are buds.

Anyway, the dude who swore he'd always be true to Mary is just not having a good year this year. Plus, the Vikings suck ballsac. You're on a shitty team, you rep ugly jeans, you're attempting to cheat on oyur wife with someone like Jenn Sterger, and now you just blew the only thing you had going for you that was remotely interesting in a non-scandelous and embarrassing way. Brett Favre, time to retire. Again. And again.

1 comment:

  1. I hate that whore gold digger Jenn Sterger! She is the football anti-christ and I'm not even a f'n Vikings fan... *GANG GREEN/JETS FAN FOR LIFE!* but damnit I love me some Brett Favre (ugly ass jeans and all)...