Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Holy Hangover

Alright, so, last night I drank a little too much wine before bed and then decided I didn't like it anymore around 4 this morning, so I've had a rough one (nothing like being hung over on a Tuesday, right?). But if you managed to sit through all the political banter and hear my bit, I'd like to clarify a couple of things (while I'm sober).

1.) He introduced me as a girl who "loves sex with athletes and thinks other women should have sex with athletes, too". No. No and no. Trust me, I'm not trying to start a trend here, I don't think other women should sleep with athletes, unless they want to, then that's cool. I think women should have fun sex lives, not be ashamed of them, and be able to laugh at themselves. I'm not advocating to get athletes laid here. I already do enough on my part for that.

2.) For those of you who listened, I spoke really, really, REALLY fast. I didn't realize it until I listened to the interview myself. I was a little nervous. And was also trying to limit his ability to interrupt me. Sorry for that.

3.) Maybe it was because I was a bottle deep in Cab, but the caller responses were hilarious. The lady that called and said "this girl is a waste of air space, you should be talking to me" and then Colmes said "what should I be talking to you about, why would the public want to know about you instead?" and she said "because I wrote a cookbook", I was dying. DYING. That woman needs to get laid, desperately. To the two dudes who think I'm a hooker/stripper, I can't reiterate this enough. I am neither, nor do these guys pay me. It's good old college fun fucking. That last guy from Alexandria said he "knew a football player so he knew how this stuff worked", but he also sounded entirely uneducated so clearly he doesn't know how my stuff works. I am not a stripper, ladies and gents. I am a bartender/cocktail waitress and eventually, will hopefully be an author. And finally, yes, that was my sister who called in. She was listening and got super pissed at the cookbook lady so she called in to defend me. What do you expect, she's 8 years older. She doesn't like when people pick on me, even to this day. She was pretty hilarious and ballsy so I was pretty pumped she got involved.

4.) Hands down, the funniest part was hearing the Alexandria guy say I was a hoe, but a GOOD hoe. I'm a good hoe! If I were a bad hoe, I'd be a little stressed, but since I'm a good hoe, we're all gravy.

5.) Was SO excited when he asked who I was interested in now. Nick Schommer and Brandon Morrow got the shout outs!

6.) To the lady that said "what parent could be proud of their child for doing that" - my mom is. So fuck you. Just because your child doesn't talk about the sex they have, doesn't mean they ain't havin' it. Seriously lady, you need to get laid and have someone pull the 10 foot studded POLE out of your ass.

7.) To the guy that thinks I'm lying about my number - I'm not. I haven't hit the 30's yet, and trust me, I'd never lie about my number. I have no reason to.

I actually have to recover and head into work tonight, since I've had two fabulous snow days off. But I'll try and get a post in before I leave, and if not, definitely a couple tonight.

Love you crazies.

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