Sunday, December 26, 2010

Hottie Roster of the Week

What, you think a little nor-easter would limit my capabilities? Fuck no, I've been sitting on my couch all day watching bad movies and drinking Cab. I'd never forget about you bitches.

Anyway, here's five hottie athletes that'll keep you warm through those long winter nights. (lame. LAME.)

Zach Loyd. Jock brought this dude to my attention. Dude will be playing with Bob Bradley's incoming training team in January, and plays regularly on The Colorado Rapids in the MLS. He's a little bit younger than me (creep) but he played at fellow ACC school UNC, so I'll give him some props. He's a bit short for me at 5'9", but I'd make an exception because he's got the hot "could be gay" gay face of a lot of hot soccer players (I'm talking to you Robbie Rogers) that really is just well groomed. I'd totally go there and test the waters to make sure he's straight for all you ladies and if not, let all you gay athlete chasers (and I know you exist) know that he's available. THE THINGS I DO FOR MY READERS.

Next up, I'm gonna give a little love to my Canucks. Kevin Bieksa may not be "hot" in everyone's eyes, but to me, i think he's ruggishly hot. So fuck off. I also like that he's been with the Nucks since he was drafted in 2001, and playing in the NHL since 2005. Dude played a little bit of juniors, but then also opted to play in the NCAA which to me is pretty cool. A lot of guys opt out of college but he stuck it out and whatever. He probably has an associates degree in basket weaving but I like dudes who do the college thing as well. He's a solid defenseman and the alternate captain, so he's got good skills. I'd totally let him run a power player on me.

Next, another hockey player, Andrew MacDonald (Amac to most), a defenseman (I know, I need to break away from this cycle) for the New York Islanders. I've known Amac for like, two years, and dude has cleaned up so well. He used to look like a redneck who worked in Hollister (sorry dude, it's so true) and now he got his shit together and rocks a solid suit. He's also worked his ass off to be one of the up and comings for the Islanders (who are suffering miserably right now anyway). He was drafted out of Juniors, then was playing in the AHL and sucked balls. He then got demoted to the ECHL but won a championship with I think, Utah. Anyway, he got back up to the AHL and worked his ass off, got called up to the NHL and signed a very nice contract last year, and has been playing really well (when he's not injured). He's a good guy, a little quiet and shy but fun to party with and I happen to think he's adorable. So Amac, congrats, never thought it would happen you fucking Canadian, but yes, you make the list.

Mason Crosby is next. I really think I just like his name. Nah, he's pretty hot. Crosby was a kicker at the University of COlorado and dude got a LOT of attention, often thought of as one of the best kickers in the NCAA when he was playing. He broke a lot of records at Colorado (see here) and then was drafted in 2006 the 6th round by the Green Bay Packers, where he's been playing ever since. According to his Wiki page, he posted more points in his first two professional seasons than any player in NFL history during their first two seasons. Kudos to him, he's got serious skills and he's hot. Raise your hand if you'd let him see you naked (raising hand).

And finally, this from Nichole, one of my readers who e-mailed me (ps, feel free to e-mail in your submissions for HRotW, I'm all ears) and suggested that Lukas Podolski be considered for the roster, and indeed, he's in. He's a striker for FC Koln (sorry, there should be a little German double dot thing above the O but I can't figure out how to do it) and for the German national team. He also played for Bayern Munich for a few years, but then came back to FC Koln. He's been a solid space on the GNT since 2005. Also, he's Polish as well, which makes me like him. I have a little Polish in me (totally set myself up for that one) and I use it as an excuse when I have blonde moments. He oculd have played for the Polish national team, but opted for the GNT instead. Gee, hard decision, no? (Sorry to all my Polish readers. But you know it's true.) Also, how fucking hilarious is this picture?


  1. Woohoo for Lukas! Thanks for the nod and for putting him on the list. I'm also Polish (as is my husband) so I have soft spot for the Polish hotties :P

  2. PS. Bieksas got a degree in finance..