Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Middle East - Not Just for Politics Anymore

So, anyone who follows soccer knows basically FIFA was paid off and Qatar, a country the size of Connecticut has been chosen to host the 2022 World Cup. Over England, who made some serious moves to get that shit brought to the homeland (in my opinion) of soccer. Seriously, even David Beckham's three-piece suits (which are arguably worth as much as the entire country of Qatar) weren't enough to sway the FIFA fucks.

So yeah, 2018 in Russia and 2022 in Qatar. Fuck, if Americans didn't like soccer already, now they really have a reason to watch/go. Russia? Who no one liked for like 50 years because they were communist and psychotic? Good call. The middle east? Dude, Americans have been trying to get out of the fucking middle east for NINE GOD DAMN YEARS.

A lot of the American players I've spoken to are not happy right now. Granted they'll be old as fuck at that point and won't be participating, I guess they still are allowed their opinions.

I'd love to know what the fuck Qatar is going to do with THIRTEEN stadiums post World Cup. Does Qatar honestly even HAVE a soccer team!? Plus, this whole "we're putting air conditioning in the stadiums" thing is beyond fucking ridiculous. It's like 300 degrees in the desert in June. That shit goes out, it's not like you can just wait around for the fucking Maytag repair man to come check out the situation. The entire event hangs in the balance of a coolant system IN THE MIDDLE EAST. Why don't we ask some soldiers about the reliability of that shit? GOOD TIMES.

Further, let's be real. Do people seriously have any desire to go to Qatar? The only reason I know it exists is because people have been reading my blog from there. And me, being the geographically retarded specimen I am, thought it was in Afghanistan and assumed it was troops over there getting a laugh. GUESS NOT. I'm sorry, if I had had the cash, I'd have been in South Africa (though looking back I'm glad I wasn't..). If it had been held in England or Australia, I'd contemplate going (if I was this age in 12 years, anyway). But Qatar? Why don't we just implement the fucking draft while we're at it, since we're basically saying "YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE YOU ARE GOING TO THE MIDDLE EAST".

Anyway, ESPN, who are normally totally neutral in this shit actually makes it very obvious that they think FIFA is corrupt and basically was bribed with the oil fuckers money and instead of giving an actual shit about the game and the tradition and the teams and the legacy and the loyalty, and were just all like "hey, fuck you bitches, we're getting paid". I mean, I gotta say, FIFA is hands down the most corrupt of any of the governing bodies of sports. As bad as the umps can be in baseball, I just feel like there's no where near this level of corruption in American based sports.

By the time this shit rolls around, I am praying I will not be chasing soccer stars around the globe anymore. But if I become a cougar jersey chaser, this will put a fucking huge damper on the situation. I'm Irish, okay. I burn. I don't want to sit in a fucking desert like Jesus and watch bad soccer and hot dudes overheating. I've done my fucking part for the soccer world, MANY times. Give a little back, would you fucking assholes?


  1. I said the exact same thing this morning when I found out the results. Its like 130F in the summer...they could seriously kill over some athletes if they don't deliver on their climate controlled promises.

  2. The question is not do people really desire to go to Qatar? The real question is, "Who in America REALLY cares?" My brother is a starter for D.C. United. Even he was like, "Next. LeBron is in Cleveland tonight." So not a story to get ones panties in a bunch over.

  3. I've been to Qatar during my time in the military. Not quite as hot as 130, but it's still warm. But hey, it's a DRY heat. Makes all the difference in the world. NOT.

  4. They're apparently dismantling the stadiums and shipping them to underdeveloped countries after the competition. We'll see how that works out.