Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Once a JC, always a JC

So last week I did a post on E!s collection of Jersey Chasers, and Kim Kardashian was front and center in that list of lovely ladies who like to play with balls. Anyway, there's been rumors that KK has been banging butts with Halle Berry's ex, Gabriel whatever the fuck his modely name is. I was surprised, because as a jersey chaser myself, I've gone on one date with a model, and I had to drink my way through it (in fairness, he did too. It was miserable for both of us. He was British and looked like a skinnier twin of David Beckham, seriously). Athletes and models are just different breeds of human, particularly in the whole personality sector. As dick fucking as athletes can be, most (or at least the ones I've met and been around) tend to have a good personality and a laid back attitude and a sense of humor. Models? God. Models tend to be very quiet and repressed and they move in ways that reflect the idea that they are always fucking posing for SOMETHING. Also, my model date and I went to Brother Jimmy's, aka my favorite bar because I'm still living the college dream, and he ordered a fucking salad. A SALAD. I ordered artichoke dip and a pulled pork sandwich. Suck balls dude. So going from two football boyfriends to a model, for me, was a leap and I was surprised Kim did it.

But I know Jersey Chasers better then most, and they always come back, just like I do. I go through these periods too, where I don't want to fuck around with athletes so I go out with some dbag from Barclays or Morgan Stanley, we bang around and I realize he sucks or he realizes I'm not like a blue blood he would feel comfortable taking to his family house in Nantucket (if he only knew), and then I go back to dudes who know how to have fun without talking about the stock market or snorting copious amounts of coke. So I can totally get Kim and her testing the non-athlete waters.

Anyway, rumor has it the bitch has now said "peace out mother fucker" to Halle Berry's baby daddy and picked up another jersey - Kris Humphries from the New Jersey Nets. Expanding her teams, I see. Way to be a serious chaser.

As in the past, Humphries is younger than Kim by 5 years (85) and he was drafted out of Minnesota. He's played for Utah, Toronto and I think he had a stint in Dallas before coming to New Jersey. He has a $3.2 million contract for this season, with a player option, and h's got decent stats. Apparently they were banging around in Hoboken last weekend, which I don't doubt as friends of mine mentioned that Kim was in New York this weekend. Ugh, Hoboken. I bet she went to the W Hotel. I've had too many experiences in that hotel in a non-sexual way, most that sadly have revolved around soccer. It's just such a bitch to get to, I prefer any other place in NYC, mainly because I'm a commuter snob. ANYWAY. Dude is 6'9", which is tall even for my liking, but I like her better with athletes, so I'm pumped that she's back on the Jersey Chasing train. I personally don't think he's that hot. He actually looks like a tall version of that Taylor kid from the Twilight movies, the one that's definitely probably gay but like, held hands with Taylor Swift for a week? But like I've said before, give a dude a uniform, a million dollar contract and some kind of athletic equipment and suddenly he's way hotter than he was before.

Welcome back to the club, Kim. Your lovely titties were sorely missed.

1 comment:

  1. Check out the difference between her face and her hand.