Tuesday, December 7, 2010

"The Silent Contributor"

I got a lovely and super friendly (sarcasm) e-mail about knowing about cheating athletes and not telling their girlfriends and wives.

Here's a minor explanation.

For the married dude who hooked up with my friend, I was only witness to the events leading up to, and the events after the whole thing. My friend was partial to the rest. The reason I don't even give the sport? I will not, absolutely REFUSE to be, the person his wife finds out from. I am some random girl she's never met and it wasn't me who he banged around with. I don't know what the fuck her situation is or her marriage is like. Maybe he's done it before, maybe he's been totally faithful up until the point he met my friend. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't, but I am not getting involved in that shit. Not my life. Would I want to find out my husband cheated on me from a self-proclaimed "humor" blogger? Uh, no. If I've learned anything about cheating husbands in the athlete department, it's that they get caught eventually on their own accord. If it was a one time thing - that's his burden to fucking carry, he can play Jesus Christ all he likes with that cross. I don't do religion and I'm certainly not about to pick up the slack. If it's a regular occurrence, my friend wasn't the first, won't be the last, and trust me, the wifey will figure out soon enough, if she really wants to.

As for the dudes I've been known to bang around with who are in relationships? I explained that whole sitch - marriage and relationships are two very different things. People break up all the time over the dumbest shit, ranging from cheating allegations to a disagreement over what someone's wearing. There is very little actual commitment in relationships. Marriage? That shit's like a legally binding contract which is why I have no intentions of ever touching it with a ten foot pole. But the dudes I've hung out with, their relationships, their drama. If it's not me, it's going to be another girl. I'm not the catalyst for the cheating - I wish I could claim to be that fucking cool and that fucking desirable. I'm not. Dudes cheat and they wander. And in one case, baseballer's girlfriend found out and he was done with her, and he didn't stop calling me. In another case, well, soccer hottie's girlfriend has her own denial issues to work on. That, or she seriously turns a blind eye and is waiting for the rock. I've yet to figure out which one. But no, it's not my fucking job to make sure their boyfriends don't cheat. To steal a line from Boardwalk Empire (love that show), we all have to make decisions about how how much sin we can handle. I'm not trying to "steal" these guys away from anyone. Shit happens, and I like to have a good time. But I wouldn't be an issue if the relationship was strong.

I cheated on one boyfriend once. I was with him for a long fucking time, almost got engaged, and yes, he was an athlete, and a well known one on a very well known team. I loved him in a weird fucking way, but a lot of it had to do with who he was and who he played for, as much as I hate to admit it. With him, I was the typical, shitty awful jersey chaser. The type I try not to be anymore. I cheated on him because I just wasn't fully in it. Because I didn't want to stop looking at other dudes or trying to find something better. Because I wasn't attracted to him in the way I was other guys, and because I couldn't really enjoy sex with him.

The next boyfriend I had, my laxer, I adored. I mean, would have done fucking anything for the kid. I had ample opportunity to cheat, including with one of his friends. I didn't. Would have never even considered it. Why? Because I genuinely loved him and gave a shit, and no matter what kind of hot sex I could have had with another dude, there was something about my laxer that kept me rooted to him. And that's what it comes down to.

Athletes are surprisingly capable of being faithful. It's just about a lot of factors adding up just right. And that whole idea of a dude being totally into one girl, yah, it can happen, and yeah, with athletes. I've seen it. So when a dude cheats on a chick who is totally in the "I'm fucking an athlete" clouds, and if I'm the girl he's cheating with, never do I think I'm fucking up a great relationship or a potential wedding. Because there's something missing there. And unfortunately, at the moment, I'm filling in for whatever it is.

So that's my two cents on the whole cheating and being involved in it thing. I fuck around a lot but it's not my place to play watch dog or whistle blower on dickhead dudes who cheat. If it were, I'd be way fucking busier than I am right now, considering I'm about to go to Walgreens and Dunkin Donuts and watch Glee reruns (this is what I do on my only day off this week). Athletes cheat. Women who sign up for that life, willingly, have to keep their own wits about them and not rely on other women to keep an eye out for them. There are so many different scenarios when it comes to this shit, it's never black and white. Which is what a lot of people don't get. It's never "guy and girl are in love, guy meets another girl and cheats, girl is devastated". Nope. There's a lot more that goes into it, which is why I don't do it. Gets way too involved and like I said, I'm here to have a good time, drink some fucking beers, joke about dudes and maybe get a little ass. The whole relationship thing? Take it up with my ipod and my vibrator. Seriously.


  1. A) The people who get involved in other peoples relationships need something better to do with their time. If they feel comfortable telling a complete stranger (or anyone outside of their immediate family) about cheating, they seriously don't have any consideration for other peoples lives (and they don't think that they can destroy other peoples lives). I 100% agree that some women ignore it (I don't feel sorry for women who allow themselves to be used/mistreated), and for those who don't know, at some point everything comes to light.

    B) I have personally (inadvertently) hooked up with guys in a relationship....because the guy lied (or omitted the relationship info). Even though I may have been involved in the cheating, its not my place to be the whistle blower. That is just bringing more drama into your life...just think calling up the girlfriend to tell her that you slept with her boyfriend. Does this person think she will welcome the info with open arms, and thank her for being such a supportive woman??? HELL NO. Bitch will go psycho on your ass.

    I completely agree with the whole staying out of their drama...

  2. Where is the like button?? On a side note. I actually cried tonight while watching Glee..Ya this unemotional fucktard shed tears. It has to be cause its that time of the month, only plausible explanation.

  3. Uh, totally bawled my fucking eyes out tonight with Glee.