Saturday, December 11, 2010

Welcome to the Club, Nona

I don't really know how old most of my readers are. I'm guessing around my age. Though there's probably a bunch of 13 year old bitches I'm corrupting, and a bunch of 59 year olds I'm confusing, but regardless, I'm estimating the average between 20 and 30. So in that case, you assholes should all remember the Adventures of Pete and Pete. She was Nona, and I think she once kissed littler Pete in an episode.

This is where I remember Michelle Trachtenberg from. I also obviously saw Eurotrip and never got why she was cast as "the hot one". My best friend when I was little lived in Brooklyn and her best friend went to school with Michelle. All Russians. Shady business.

Then she got dicked by that creepy emo dude from that band for Ashlee Simpson (that had to have hurt, seriously), and then she got on Gossip Girl. I don't watch Gossip Girl, and I still don't think MT is that pretty. But apparently she's just joined the JC club, because bitch was spotted with an Italian baller from the New York Knicks.

The New York Post (aka the trash rag that claims to be a Newspaper) claims MT was spotted canoodling (aka stroking boners) with Knicks Forward Danilo Gallinari. Dude's a bit younger than her, but jersey chasers are exempt from age restrictions and cradle robbing accusations. See Kim Kardashian. I also once was in love with a dude who was basically two years younger than me, and fucker broke my heart in a 10th grade way (fucking soccer players). There's something about the height, money and muscles that negate age differences.






He's not exactly my type. Love the height, but he has weird Russian looking eyes. Not Russian, you know what I mean...like, middle asian eyes. Again, that sounds wrong, but fuck off because you totally know what I mean. Plus, he looks crosseyed in a lot of pictures. AND, he makes really weird fucking faces in game. Just not my speed. But to each their own.

Anyway, while she's not exactly a Victoria Secret model, I can always appreciate when a famous bitch just gets why athletes are that much more fucking fun to bang. I totally would fuck Chase Crawford, but bitch has stepped out of the UES and straight down to the shady area outside MSG, aka 34th and 8th. Welcome to midtown west, MT.

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