Friday, December 24, 2010

"Who Will Want to Date You Now?!" - my Sister

People ask if I think the blog, my book, and my attitude toward sex will limit my (already non-existant) love life. My answer? If I did, do you really think I'd do this?

There are guys who will be turned off by it - no question. But to be honest, this always came up as a topic of conversation with other guys I've dated, and I can 100% sure say my sexcapades and roster were not the reason things didn't work out.

If a guy doesn't date a girl because of her past hookups and relationships, it's retarded. I'm sorry, to me, it doesn't really matter if a guy has slept with 30 girls or 3. His personality will give away whether he's a dbag, not his number. And to most guys, they really, honestly don't care about the number. And if they do, they have self esteem issues that go far beyond me and I don't want to be with them anyway.

There's a guy I met recently who I'm like, 99% sure reads the blog, if not on the regular, definitely HAS read the blog. And I asked him to hang post-holidays two days ago and he agreed. And it's not a "hey want to grab a drink and bang" kind of thing, it's a "hey I have tickets to this, wanna kind of go on a date" thing. So I'm hoping and assuming the blog didn't stop him from hanging out with me. It might not work out. We might hate each other by the end of that game, but he didn't say no because he was afraid of kooties from all the stories on here. Props to him if he still reads this, and I'll admit I'm kinda pumped he said yes.

I never got the whole idea that women were whores if they slept with guys and guys were the masters of the God damn universe if they banged a million girls. One of my buddies, Kevin, once explained it to me "if a key opens a lot of locks, it's a master key. But if a lock gets open by a lot of keys, it's a weak lock". Awesome analogy, except for the fact that my vag isn't made of fucking metal (shocking, right?). I'm a person. And if I want to have sex, I'm going to do it. And if a guy doesn't want to date me because I've been with more people than him, or am more experienced, his loss, not mine.

My ex laxer and I used to not argue, but like...weirdly converse about this. At first, I lied about my number to him, afraid he'd be turned off. Then he gave me his number, which was a bit lower than my actual number. Then I got drunk one night and told him closer to the truth, but not the total truth. And he changed his number as well to higher, but still lower than my actual number. And then finally I admitted my actual number and he drunkenly admitted his actual number was the one he said to begin with.

He was kind of pissed I had banged around more than him. And it wasn't a "grossed out" thing, it was a "how the fuck has she gotten laid more often than me" thing. So yeah, I think while guys use the "ew it's nasty if a girl hooks up with too many guys" excuse, in reality it's a...not jealousy thing, but a superiority thing in a lot of guys minds. Which is pathetic, and a huge reason why I won't cater to it. I'm not spending my whole life NOT enjoying sex so when I date someone, they can feel superior. Thanks, but fuck you.

As for the guys I've banged...with the exception of a few, most guys I go out with don't really know the guys I've banged around with unless the go home and Google - which some have, don't get me wrong. But I also try not to date self conscious pussies who would compare themselves to other guys I've banged, in the looks department, money department, talent department or how many hot pictures there are of them on Google. I don't do self conscious. I can't constantly be a cheerleader. And I will never, ever be the person to say "no, baby, you are WAY hotter than him" because if I do, you have issues. Also, I never say baby. That's lame.

So no, I don't think this whole situation is going to effect my dating life. There will be guys who haven't read it, and guys who have read it and get it and don't care, and yeah, there will be guys who won't dream of dating me because of their own issues with the shit I'm not ashamed of. I won't lie to guys about anything if they ask. I did it for a while and then realized when I lied about it I felt ashamed of it and didn't really know why. WHY was I lying about how many guys I had slept with to someone who supposedly "loved" me? WHY was I lying about my favorite position to a guy who supposedly should WANT to know what I like in bed? Most of my life has been revolving around athletes in some way. I can't sugar coat it to pump up a guy's ego. Sorry. I am who I am. I like me. I make a good girlfriend when I get to that point and to me, that's what matters.

1 comment:

  1. I think the issue is not only limited to lack of self esteem. It's a matter of preference. A lot of guys prefer having a woman who hasn't been around that much. Then again, most women prefer guys who aren't pussies either. I don't know if I would say most, but I think while a lot of guys will find it unnerving a bit, it will not be a deal breaker for them if you're a pretty awesome fuck and pretty cool chick in other aspects. Hell, Tito Ortiz married Jenna Jameson and there is documented proof of hundreds of cocks she's had.