Monday, December 13, 2010

The World's Most Unsexy Stripper

Seriously, I like to think I'm good at sex. I've had enough of it that I have managed to collect some solid, solid moves. And while I can't dance for shit, I have fabulous rhythm when it comes to sex. Plus, I'm tiny, so I get tossed around a lot and am totally cool with it. So yes, I think I can pull off sexy with a nice pair of cheekies, a tan and some hip rockin'. But when it comes to being sexy in a stripper way, I might be the single worst "let's be sexy on a pole" person known to mankind. Seriously, I'd have to fucking PAY people to come see me strip if I ever decided to delve into that fucking lifestyle. This is what it looks like when I attempted to dance on a pole - like I'm going to the bathroom/have an itchy back and like I am holding the pole for dear life.

PS, I was barefoot because I BROKE MY SHOE.

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