Thursday, January 20, 2011

Chasing the Jersey, Losing the Game

Ugh, this has been such a random week, and something in my bedroom smells like tequila and I have no idea where it's coming from. Fuck.

Date went really well. I don't want to jinx it and go chatting about it on here and ruin it, so let's just say it was way better than I thought it was going to be.

Some fails I've discovered however? Let's start with my ex - whom I haven't spoken to in a good two years - calling in the middle and me answering because I didn't recognize the number. Oh yeah, fucking great times. Disastrous, just not what I needed. Dude was cool with it though and it was one of those things where I was like, telling my ex it wasn't a good time and I couldn't talk and mouthing "I'm so sorry I don't know what's happening right now" to the guy. Seriously, like what the fuck.

Next up, I have figured out that while all my jersey chasing in the last few years has given me fab stories that I would trade for the world, and a whole lot of sex knowledge, and some personal bragging rights that no one but myself is impressed by (soccer hottie), it's taken away all my knowledge of how to actually DATE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING. Like, I totally forgot how to do shit. Or what to expect. Or what not to expect. I am so used to casual and emotionless and like, secretive. So of course I don't know how to read people at all, or like, know how people think, but I sit there and overanalyze the fuck out of stupid shit. And now I'm literally asking people when a good time to text him is, because at 24 almost 25 fucking years old, I apparently have NO GAME WHATSOEVER.

I went in for a kiss, then stopped because I was like "WAIT HE MIGHT NOT WANT THIS". Seriously, where did this stupidity come from?

God. Now I remember why I keep shit casual. Too much thinking goes into this. Fuck dude, like, for someone who's awesome with sports, I can't do games for the life of me. Honestly, I might be a step up from coming straight out and being like DO YOU LIKE ME IN THAT WAY? Fucking terrible.

Here's to hoping I didn't totally fuck myself over with my awkward inability to be a social female.

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