So the laxer dude I posted about before Christmas...he and I are supposedly going out on Wednesday and I'm a little stressed and a little stoked about it. I ran into him last night at Brother Jimmy's, and it was fine. He was actually chilling with my childhood nemesis. Girl made grades 1-5 so unbearable for me my mom pulled me out of Catholic school and put me in public school. Like, total bully. And now she's kind of vile and she has a constant ski goggle tan which looks terrible, and I weigh a looooot less than her (God I hope she reads this) so she helps me believe in karma.
Anyway, I'm a bit paranoid because the guy is so my typical - laxer, prep, well spoken, banker, tall, charming, blah blah blah blah he's basically my ex boyfriend sans 30 lbs. So obviously I'm super excited, and I HATE feeling that way. I hate having feelings, period.
On the same token, I don't want to get my hopes up because I just don't know if I could see this shit being anything more than dinner. And I'm worried it's a pity dinner thing. I asked him to the Canucks game originally, he said yes than bailed because he realized he had a dinner to go to (which is legit), and then he asked to make it up to me with dinner. I hate when I feel like dudes feel obligated to hang out with me.
And then I have to deal with the fact that I'm like 95% sure he doesn't know about the book or blog. I mean, he knows I wrote a book, but he doesn't know the topic. He's a very traditional guy so being all "yeah so I wrote a book about dudes I've fucked" over dinner is kind of jarring. I need to tone that shit down. I'm not embarrassed, but the last guy I went out with must have told me like 32 times that he wasn't intimidated by me or the blog. I weigh 105 lbs and I work at a bar. I'm super glad you weren't intimidated by me, dude. You and the rest of the fucking world. It was a little unnerving.
I'm being all bajiggity about this and I know the reason is because I kind of totally like this guy and haaaaaaate liking boys. I hate it. This is why I stick to fucking around with athletes. I like not getting all shady about it. I like the "eh, maybe I'll see you, maybe I won't" aspect and then being pleasantly surprised when I do see them and not at all concerned when I don't. Like, now, with this laxer, there's apparently a huge snow storm that's going to hit NY on Wednesday and I'm freaking the fuck out that I won't be able to get into the city and we'll have to cancel/postpone. I can't deal with that right now. Holy shit, I sound like such a typical girl. I fucking hate myself.
ANYWAY...I guess I'll keep you guys posted on the events. Like I said, I think it's kind of a pity date so I'm really trying to be all whatever about it...but I can't lie and say I'm not pumped. I've literally been trying to get this guy on a fucking date for like, 2 years, so the prospect of actually you know...hanging out with him, is getting me excited in a typical lame girl way.
Ugh. Lame. LAME.