Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Lowered Expectations

Ugh, I have FINALLY conceded that my dinner tomorrow has to be canceled/postponed. Seriously, if you knew how hard I was praying to a God that absolutely hates me to push the snow back to Thursday (I was willing to give up club level seats at the Garden for the Canucks game), you'd call me religious. Clearly, God hates me, so he instead had the dude on News 12 say "expect more than a foot of snow and LIRR service to be suspended indefinitely". But on a positive, that means I have an extra hour to kill so I can post some shit. Silver linings.

There's so much shit that needs to go on with the book that I'm entirely rethinking Europe next week. Not that it's been booked yet - holler for a last minute planner. I think in my mind I didn't book it because I knew too much shit would be going on.

The proposal needs to be re-written, including the two sample chapters, which I've yet to tackle. Have to go over shit with my literary agent. I want to get this shit done like, now, so it just starts going into effect. I don't want to wait a month. Plus CNN is rolling along, so I have that going on too.

The other part of me obviously wants to see Soccer dude and have a good fucking time considering I was in the grips of slavery for the month of December and worked my ass off so I could have a vacay and enjoy myself. I have never ever had a shitty time chillin' with him, and I don't doubt this time would be any different. I haven't seen him in a while (thanks to the Harvard dude fucking up the last time my buds and I were supposed to go chill, fuck you Harvard), and it'd be good to grab beers and have a couple laughs and catch up.

But then I rescheduled my dinner for next Tuesday with laxer and while I don't know how MUCH potential, obviously there's more good that can come of that than with soccer and I'm stressing. What if the date goes well? Do I fuck said laxer over to go fuck around with soccer hottie? Do I blow off Europe for what is potentially a pity date? I love London this time of year...

This has turned into ridiculousness. Seriously. Again, this is why I don't like relationships, or dates, or like...things that aren't sex and beers. Too much thought has to go into this now. Last year it was "hey, let's meet here on this weekend" and boom, done. Now it's like...all fucked up.

The idea is awesome though. Chillin' in Europe with soccer hottie. I mean, it's a good time all around, and as I've learned, well worth the exchange rates. But maybe being a little grounded for once would be a good thing. Fuck.

There have been a few times in my life - not many, but a few - where I legitimately think "maybe it's time to give this shit up". But then I get a BBM at 3 in the morning that makes me laugh and I realize how nice it is having a no strings attached form of that. Like I said, I like the fact that I don't worry if I see these guys, because if I do it's a pleasant surprise, if I don't, it's not a concern.

When did my posts start getting so lame? Seriously. I just wanna fuck. When did this shit get so complicated? (answer: when I decided the person I'd most enjoy fucking is a guy who's in another fucking country with a random ass girlfriend. Good times).


  1. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do rather than by the ones you did "-  by some dude called MARK TWAIN!!!
    Go to Europe ( you can write on the plane) shag hottie, get to low down on his "chica" , decide once and for all whether this set up is for you and then begin the next chapter......
    (lame but true)

  2. Focus on the book. Soccer hottie will still be there after it's all finished. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you need to strike while the iron is hot, as they say. The book could be a major part of your life and future. Just something to ponder...

  3. I think you should go to Europe. Soccer hottie sounds worth the time. You seem to be getting a little worked up over Laxer dude(not judging just saying). What is worth more...a possible pity date or fantastic sex with someone whose company you enjoy? Plus you could work on your book during your flight. Don't most planes have wifi nowadays?