Geez, don't post for two days and you guys are sending out the SWAT team for me. Sorry kiddos, had some stuff going on with the book, and was planning on possibly putting the blog on hiatus, but, my literary agent informed me it's cool to keep it up while the deal is going through, so you get my free random thoughts for a bit longer. Rejoice, mother fuckers!
First up, let's talk about Carlos Boozer and this whole Bachelor thing going on.
First things first, gross. Carlos Boozer? Gross. Gross gross gross on every level. For me, just not an attractive man. I'm sorry. And the chick is actually pretty hot.
Next up, the chick's name is "Michelle Money". Taking bets right now that her last name is like, Hasblat or something. Money? Jesus, how fucking ghetto/tacky can you get, seriously?
Next up, I'm still deciding whether to give props or boos over the crocodile tears. Michelle claims Boozer told her he was single/going through a divorce/his marriage was ending. She also came out and apologized and said she was very sorry she hurt Cece (Boozer's wife and the mother of his three kids) and she wish she hadn't done it.
I'm on the fence. I give her props for apologizing, and in my heart, I'm like, why would bitch apologize if she didn't seriously mean it. I would NEVER apologize to soccer hottie's girlfriend. EVER. The chick that Tony Parker was allegedly hooking up with didn't apologize - bitch wrote a self righteous banter about her charity work. So maybe, just maybe, this trick is feeling genuine remorse.
However, I'm sorry, she thought his marriage was over? Who in this day and age doesn't Google stalk? Wanna know how I found out soccer hottie WASN'T SINGLE during the World Cup? The internet. Wanna know how I figured out who she was, and all that shit? The internet. THE INTERNET. I know four year old CHILDREN who know how to go google search "is this man married". I mean, come on. You're fucking around with this guy, you're going to tell me you didn't look his ass up once and figure out "oh fuck, he's still married?" Not buying it. Maybe I'm the world's biggest fucking stalker, but I don't think I'm the only one. I have Google stalked EVERY guy I have gone out with in the last two years. You think this girl didn't Google stalk him, even once, JUST to see how much money he made? Give me a break.
My hope is Cece moves on, takes the kids and drains the fucker for all he's worth. Also, I don't watch the bachelor, but now I hope this bitch doesn't win. She looks like Vanessa Williams circa 1992.