Friday, January 7, 2011

Not a Baller

Got an e-mail asking what the difference between the hoebags on the website Baller Alert and me is. I mean, do I seriously have to even address this shit? God, ye of little faith.

Baller Alert is that terrible fucking website where uneducated slutbags who don't want to do anything with their lives and want everything handed to them get together to discuss tactics to use to ruin athletes lives via VAGINA.

Stefanie Williams (me, and yes, I will shadily speak in the third person) is a tiny brunette with small boobs and an extensive knowledge of baseball statistics that happens to enjoy sex, particularly when it's with athletes. The closest I've come to plotting how to ruin someone's life is probably prank calling my ex boyfriend on a few occasions. I am not Regina George. I am not a life ruiner.

No but seriously you fuckers, it has never been about anything but the sex, the laughs, and the stories for me. A lot of people point that I will potentially make money off this book (God fucking willing) and therefor I'm profiting off of these guys and that makes me a call girl. Where the fuck is the logic in that? If I wrote a book about dogs, would I then be "profiting" off the dogs? I'm writing about my life. I'm not out to fuck anyone over really. I'm writing my stories and yeah other people are involved but I'm maintaining as much privacy for them as I can. This was never about money. I never fucked a guy with dollar signs in the back of my mind. This all happened as a therapeutic device to try to get passed soccer kid breaking my heart. I just started writing shit down and looked back and said "fuck, this is kind of funny".

I never asked anyone to pay shit for me. Fuck, I even always used to split the bill with my ex laxer boyfriend who had an inordinate amount of money. I don't ask for anything from any of these guys other than a good time, and if I don't get that, all I expect is the ability to laugh it off.

These bitches on Baller Alert? They're uneducated women with no fucking goal in life other than to have money they didn't earn. Who plots to get knocked up? I have spent the last 8 years since I lost my virginity desperately trying to PREVENT pregnancy (and thankfully succeeding). These women are willing to bring an unwanted child into the world so they can fucking cash that check that is supposed to be for the kid and buy a new Hermes bag. I'm sorry, did I mention that I EAT BIRTH CONTROL PILLS LIKE SKITTLES?! How in Go's name could anyone ever put me in the remotest of the same league as these women?

Honestly, jersey chaser is a bad term with a lot of negative connotation, and it's women like that, over on Baller Alert, that make it such. I chase the jersey for fun, for excitement, for stories and laughs and sex, and hotties and to steal boxers and sweatshirts. not to entrap an athletic guy who isn't exactly up on his "this is where babies come from" information. I don't think I deserve money for having a lot of sex. It takes no more talent to spread your fucking legs than it does to sneeze, and women who expect to get paid off for doing it are fucking assholes.

I have no respect for the women on that site, NONE. Call me a hypocrite, that's fine. "Oh, Stef's on talk shows talking about how she should be allowed to do this and she has sex all the time and she calls these women sluts". I don't call these women sluts because they fuck athletes, or fuck a lot. I call these women sluts because they are manipulating guys to get shit. To get cars, and bags, and tickets, and jewelry and money. They are using their vaginas and their tits and asses to scam some poor dumb fuck from Bumblefuck Idaho who just signed a huge contract into handing over some of his money to them for no reason whatsoever. That's not having sex for fun, that's not using your body the way you want, that's not "breaking down stereotypes". That's lying to people and attempting to get shit you don't deserve. Do I feel sorry for the assholes that get with these women? Kind of. But I'd bet my life that you could point these women out a mile away by the way they act, dress, speak, their attitude and their bullshit. This is a business to them. To me, it's nothing more than a fun way of life. So no, I have no respect for these women. I do what they do, and probably a million times better. I can fuck with the best of them, I look pretty damn good doing it, but after all is said and done, I can construct a sentence that is entirely grammatically correct. I busted my ass in college (um, kind of) and I pay my own way through life. Sew up these fuckers' vaginas, and what do they have to offer anyone in life? NOTHING.

So please, for the love of God - call me whatever you like - slut, whore, hoe, for those of you who refuse to believe I work in a Steak House and not a strip club, a stripper, a call girl, whatever you like. But please don't ever put me in the same category as women who go through nine months of pregnancy in order to get a fucking BMW. And can't even spell BMW.


  1. whoever asked that question should get banned from the blog... fucking for fun is what most women do b/c we like men and we like their dicks... its not about "oh if I blow him real good tonight maybe I'll get a Coach bag 2maro"...
    I checked out the website once after you mentioned it here and those are the most ignorant ass bitches on the face of this earth... the website really should be called HOW TO SELL YOUR P*SSY TO RETARDED FUCKING GUYS WHO PLAY SPORTS or STEALING CASH WITH YOUR SNATCH those hookers got the racket going but one day they will all just be old bitches who tell a tale of mistakes and how the only way grandma could afford her electricity bill was to fuck some guy b/c he had money

  2. Okay, I literally laughed out loud at "STEALING CASH WITH YOUR SNATCH". Might be my next book title, AMAZING.