Thursday, April 7, 2011

Book stuff

Ahh lots of you are asking about book sales. Slow but steady. In 2 days, I've sold 60. Brobible just did a piece with some excerpts, and while I refuse to read the comments (I learned my lesson last time), I did check it out. So a big what the fuck is up to all the dbags who ripped me a new asshole on Brobible but then came over and checked out my blog and probably jerked off to certain pictures on here. I know how you fuckers roll.

Here's the link. All I ask is don't mention whatever is said in the comments on there on here. I've successfully avoided them all day and the last time I allowed myself to read comments on something I did for Brobible I lost 10 lbs. I'm not even kidding. Brobible Article.

It'll take some time to get it going. It is what it is. But I'm proud of it and it's out there and now I have more time for you fuckers on the blog. And we'll see what happens. It's been literally not even 48 hours since it was released. Give it a month.

I do appreciate the positive reviews that are being left to combat the morons who are preaching against my book but you know, didn't read it. I particularly love the one lady who says

"Just a short response--I didn't read very much of the book because shortly after I started reading I felt violently ill. I don't think a sex life is something to joke about, it is a precious gift; something to worship and cherish. I have not made any other reviews because I have never encountered a book I felt so strongly about. It seems like you are caught up in the same disgustingly casual and flippant lifestyle as this author."

She felt violently ill. Really. The first chapter is about my dad taking a five year old me to a Yankees game. Fuck off bitch. Also, sex is a precious gift, something to worship and cherish that shouldn't be joked about? Someone needs to buy a vibrator. Like, what the fuck lady? Worship sex? Okay. I worship sex. All types of sex. With athletes. With hot, sweaty athlete bodies. And athlete peen. I worship the athlete peen! See, common ground!

Ugh, these people are pathetic. I'm pretty sure one of them is a mom. You know, angry mom of someone I once banged. It's all my fault their son banged, too, don't you know? I'm a floozy. If it weren't for me and my temptress vagina, he'd still be a good all american little athlete who never thought of fucking a chick doggie style. Please. Want to know how many times I've ASKED to have anal sex? Here's a clue - none. Want to know how many times I've had it? More than the last answer. So don't act like it's me bringing your sons down ladies. It takes two to bang.

Other than that, I mean, it's been good. A lot of lacrosse players have been adding me on Facebook, which I find hilarious. UMBC, Hopkins, Princeton and Virginia. They're all like, 20. But it's kind of adorable. Sort of. What can I say, I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for the lax assholes. Brobible is totally pushing it too.

But yea, please do all that you can to get it out there. I know all of my most loyal readers have done a lot with mentioning the blog and getting that out there, but as shamelessly self promoting as it is, pleeeease do all you can to get the blog and book out there. Facebook, e-mails, whatever. I appreciate all I can get right now. I'm trying to se up some bigger situations, but until then, word of mouth is my best friend. So I appreciate all the press you guy shave been giving me on your own. Especially the good reviews on Amazon! Combat those asshole sex worshippers. HEATHENS.

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