Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Deep Thoughts aka I'm bored on a train

What is it that makes sex so much fun with athletes? I mean, in theory, it’s all the same shit. Same parts, same maneuvers, whatever. I’ve met guys who have been non-athletes that have been better looking, physically, than some of the athletes I’ve banged. So it’s not like athletes have this magic penis that feels better than most. I think it’s just a matter of wanting what you want.

I read this blog post recently somewhere – can’t remember the site – where someone was talking about how women are sexually confused. You have magazines talking about “taboo” sex positions that “everyone is trying”, and then you have everyone else in the known universe calling girls who dare try these things – let alone discuss their success or failure after – calling them sluts. There is no common middle ground. For me, I feel like athletes have been that middle ground.

I wrote in another post a while ago that sex with athletes tends to have this sense of urgency. Like, if you don’t have sex with that guy in five minutes, you’re entire body is going to implode. Outside of being drunken, the most common thing all the sex I’ve had with different athletes has shared, has been that sense of “I want it right now”. And that’s important in sex. Wanting it.

Sure, there have been times with athletes where I didn’t want to have sex. Alex the baseball player had to deal with that for like, two years. But there was a time, the first time I had sex with him (which I can surprisingly remember with complete clarity even though I puked the next morning), where I couldn’t fucking wait to rip his boxer(briefs ew) off. Dan Casey? I’m shocked, SHOCKED we made it up to the room. In fact, I don’t think we did. I think we started making out in the elevator. By the time we got up to the room, if we didn’t have sex, I think both of us would have died. It was always like that with Dan. Even the last time I was him when we were with all our friends. The whole night I sat next to him BBMing him about how badly I wanted to see him naked. And there were little movements where our hands touched and it made us cross our legs or arch our backs a little.

Sex should never been a chore. And I think that’s where I was going with that story about the blog where there’s no middle ground. Sex should be fun. And for me, athlete sex is almost always fun. It’s shameless, dirty, hot, funny. It’s like nothing can be said or done that will make it awkward or embarrassing. I’ve done everything with athletes. And I am always open and honest about what I like, what I want. So are they. Because it can be so momentary. Like, the first time I met Dan, it was supposed to be a one night stand. I don’t think either of us planned on hanging out again, let alone banging again. So there was this one solitary moment in some shady hotel in the middle of Bumblefuck Europe, where we could either say “fuck it, let’s do it all and have no shame” or we could have just fucked missionary, gotten off and gone on with our lives. Make it memorable. Sex should be shameless. Sex should be fun. It should be what you want it to be. Not what everyone else tells you it should be. Stop worrying about where it’s going and just concentrate on where you are at that very moment.

I’ve also always been able to laugh about sex stuff. Which makes it easier when things go wrong. Athletes seem to have that quality too. Laying there, naked, after, it can be awkward. I’ve never let it get to that point with athletes. Again, maybe it’s because there’s always been a possibility I will never see the guy again. But I just figure why am I going to be embarrassed? I just slept with the guy. I just told him I wanted to fuck me really hard. And suddenly I’m worried about saying the wrong thing? Please. Ladies, have a little confidence. Sex isn’t always clean and easy. There are noises and cramps (I know all about the cramps). There are mistakes and pains and wrong positions and movements that don’t end up right. Learn to go with it. Sex today has become so uptight. It’s supposed to be like this slow, romantic, perfect combination of two people in love blah blah blah. We’re human, alright? Fuck. Learn to go with the punches and you’ll learn to enjoy sex even when it’s embarrassing or not exactly perfect.

Every athlete I’ve ever been with has been open to trying random shit. And that’s been one of the best parts. That shit you read about in magazines? Make it rougher, harder, dirtier. And that’s what you get with athletes. I feel like the bankers and traders – you have to be in a relationship before you can ask for what you really want without worrying that you’ll be labeled a slut among the partners on his trading floor. I’ve never been with an athlete that’s thought of shit as slutty or gross. On the contrary, most athletes I’ve been watch enough porn to not be phased by the shady shit I’ve done.

Dan Casey once told me “it sucks, guys have it really easy. It doesn’t take a lot for sex to be good for a guy. But girls just have to deal with so many factors that can make sex bad”. Not if you talk it out. Know what you want and know what feels good. If you’re ashamed of something you’re doing naked, why are you naked to begin with? That’s what makes sex with athletes so fun – the no holds bar, rushed, crazy, sometimes drunken, unabashed sense of wanting and being wanted. People that think girls like me are just “an available vagina” (really?), don’t get it. So much more has always gone into my sex life than just penis meet vagina. And I’m not talking about deep feelings. I’m talking about the whole atmosphere of the situation. Like I said, rushed, unabashed, no holds bar, anything goes, hot, sweaty, rough, dirty, fuck me, take me, harder, now. Dan’s right. So much goes into it for me that I refuse to settle for “penis meet vagina” anymore. If you’re not bringing something new to the table, I’ll make you find something. And athletes have always managed to man up.

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