I still remember taking this picture. It was at UVA, and we got killed 10-2 in 2005. God I'm old.
Since last week, I've gotten a weird number of e-mails regarding George Huguely, who is a former UVA laxer that just today was indicted in 6 charges that included first degree murder. Last year, he killed his on-again off-again girlfriend, Yeardley Love, who was also a senior player on the women's lacrosse team.
Most of the e-mails have been in regards to whether or not I think it characterizes the basic culture of lacrosse. And I guess it definitely ties into the Duke thing. I'm not going to bring the Duke thing into it for multiple reasons, the biggest one being I really don't want unwanted texts or calls. But if you're interested in my opinions about the Duke lax situation from 2006, you can Google my name and Duke lacrosse and see the inordinate amount of articles and blogs I did in support of those guys. Long story short on Duke - no one raped anyone, those guys got fucked, and lacrosse got put on trial because of racial stereotypes. And yes, I'm aware, bitch is going to jail because she murdered someone. Am I surprised? Seriously?
As for UVA (why is it always the ACC?), look. I have spent a lot of time with laxers. In college and out of college. In college, I witnessed some shitty behavior. One guy I was semi seeing (and by that I mean banging on the reg at Maryland) was a really, really bad drunk. And we got into a fight one night where we ended up throwing beer bottles at me. Thankfully, he was drunk and there was a reason he was 3rd string, and none of them hit me. One of his teammates heard the situation and came out and stopped it.
That was the one and only time I ever had a problem with a lacrosse player. And his housemates/teammates has a serious talk with him the next day. I was the little sister they could pick on, but they knew better than to let that shit go on. And eventually he grew up, got sober, took me out to lunch in NYC and apologized profusely. Better late than never.
So when people say the culture of lacrosse is one of drunken entitlement...I can't really agree 100%. There are loads of preppy dbags who play lacrosse and think they're the shit because they play lacrosse. But it's not all of them. It really isn't. I am still super close with so many of the guys on Maryland's team from when I was in college. And since my Brobible excerpt went up with my post about maryland lax and loddies, a whole shlew of the current team have added me and e-mailed me on Facebook. In fact, I'm planning a trip down for their senior day in May. I am not the only one who has ever had a lacrosse team filled with makeshift big brothers. They are good guys. I'm even starting to fall in love with this year's team despite not knowing most of them. George Huguely is not the norm. And that was not my experience with lacrosse.
Don't get me wrong. They get drunk and rowdy. They pass out naked in random places. They take their cloths off and lay in bushes (GOD I really miss college). They get in fights sometimes and can be huge assholes when it comes to sex. But they're not all tragically bred to be violent assholes. I promise.
I remember once in my freshman year, Will, the dude with the penis that impaled me...well, he could be a huge asshole. And he was rich. And cocky. And he had that air of entitlement. But when I needed a flight to Europe when a family member was in the hospital and consequently died, Will was the first person to offer to help me. He actually offered to pay for the whole thing. Wanted to do anything he could to help.
My best friend Travis (seen here ignoring the fact that I had no idea how to style my bangs freshman year) is one of the best kids I know. I've known him since October of 2004 when I accused him of lying about being on the lacrosse team to get laid because I had no idea who he was or why he was talking to me at Bentley's. And since then, he's been one of my bests. He is one of the nicest, most considerate, hard working guys I know. He once carried me up 2 blocks when I had no shoes and it was snowing (don't ask why I had no shoes). And he would rather cut off his balls than ever hurt a girl, let alone hit one. Though he once allowed me to fall down a flight of stairs at lacrosse formal one year. Thanks Trav. And gravity.
One of the baby Terps (nickname to all the teams that came after my graduation), lost a parent this weekend to pancreatic cancer. Every laxer right now has a purple ribbon profile picture on Facebook. Guys from years ahead of me who never even played with him. Lacrosse teams are like second families. And more often than not, they are made up of good guys. Not perfect guys - but good ones.
So no. To all those who ask me if I think George Huguely is the norm for lacrosse, a s"ad example of the perfect son in public drunken dbag rich kid in private", no. I don't. He was one guy who didn't know when to stop and didn't know how to control himself. He had anger issues and drinking problems and yeah, he was an entitled dbag. And the idea of putting someone like that in the same category as the boys (now dirty old men for the most part ha) I spent the majority of my college career hanging out with seems horrendous. And I won't do it. I'm sorry.
Rae Carruth killed his pregnant girlfriend. Kobe Bryant raped a girl (sorry if you don't believe it. Rape might be a strong word. Forcebly fucked?). Yet we don't associate football or basketball with violence and pregnant lady killing. One guy in a game that promotes thousands is not representative of the sport as a whole. It was a terribly tragic situation. But I'll tell you one thing - something tells me if that was a "team of entitled brutal thugs", there would be no way that all of the pallbearers would have been members of that team. And they were.
Don't judge the sport by the bad rap it gets in the media. I've seen some of the shitty sides of it, but the good side outweighs the bad completely.