Alright people, anyone got an in with DC United? I know two players but I've hooked up with one of them so it might not be a good idea to hit him up for info on Chris Pontius. Single? Taken? Gay? Straight? Big peen? Small peen? Good at sex? I need deets. Help a bitch out. This guy looks like Brody Jenner. Why have I not noticed him before?