Wednesday, May 4, 2011 = one step up from 10th grade biology book

So I just spent like, two hours browsing through's sex advice pages...and while some were decent, I feel like the sex advice on there is equivalent to getting financial advice on high risk stock trading from a God damn fortune cookie. "Numbers look promising, act now! Lucky numbers 5, 7, 9, 22, 75". Like, I don't know. I know it's generalized sex advice, but I feel like there has to be some personal input. Especially on the taboo subjects like rough sex and anal sex and threesomes. I mean, telling people you need to use lube isn't exactly a helper in getting to anal sex. It's like reminding a person to fucking breathe. There is a big freakin DUH on that article.

I think I need to try to correct some of these asinine sex advice pages. I'm by no means a therapist or a doctor, but I've had a nice amount of sex and tried a lot of fun things naked. Sometimes I think getting first hand accounts of how certain shit is accomplished is better advice than "and then, spread her labia and insert penis" explanations that are paired with a picture of girl who is hot enough to fuck Brad Pitt and a guy that looks like he is old enough to bang, but young enough to still look good in Abercrombie & Fitch. That's not sex advice, that's sex propaganda.

Going to think up a few good topics, try to throw an athlete spin on it (I can hear the collective cringes of every guy I've ever banged worrying they'll be another topic). Any suggestions or requests?

1 comment:

  1. Kudos for telling your story, sorry you had such a shitty childhood growing up but it really does make you a stronger person. I got bullied as well was always the odd girl out in my group of friends the one at the butt of their jokes..I started standing up for myself and putting them in place and they eventually grew up..still get made fun of to this day (I was at a bar waiting for a drink and commented on this guys suit had no clue who he was at first later found out he played for the Nucks he told me to go away that I was fucking gross..the joke was actually on him cause the chick he was with was a known model/escort who banged old dudes for trips, rent money and hand bags) The universe has its way of working itself out!