Saturday, September 24, 2011

Blog Sidenotes

As I watched the Terps get murdered by Temple, and am currently watching the Yankees go through way too much of their bullpen in a rout of the Boston Redsox, I got an e-mail about why I sidestep the blog sometimes and write about things completely offtopic. More often than not, the LGBT community.

Which works well because I've been wanting to write something about the recent repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. So it all ties in nicely.

I'll start by answering the question. I am extremely, extremely involved in sports and sex. That sounds weird, I don't know how you can be "involved" in sex. What I mean is, those two topics kind of dominate my life. Where ever I am, those things kind of fill up the void. And that's why I started the blog to begin with. First rule of thumb of writing is to write what you know. I know about and love sex and sports. It made sense to me.

However, just because the blog caters to mainly those two topics, doesn't mean I don't occasionally like to take out my frustration with other topics on here. I write. It's what I do. So when something bothers me, I try to write it out and get the problem out to the masses. And the whole LGBT issue in our country today is one of those topics that just drives me insane. The fact that it "is" a topic at all, drives me fucking nuts. So I write about it. Because while I'm not exactly a daily read for most people, I still like to think enough people read me that if there are any anti-LGBT peeps in my blogosphere, maybe my way of writing will appeal to the senses in terms of logic about that topic. AKA, me being a catty, fuck all bitch might have more pull than a PC article filled with bullet points about the LGBT community from some representative you've never heard of.

On that note, the long standing, discriminatory policy that was DADT was brought to a long needed halt this week. You know my take on the gays. I love 'em. My best friend in the whole world, gay man. So when people say he wouldn't be compatible for military service simply because he'd be Skyping with a dude instead of a lady, (not that Karl would ever join the military, let's be real here), is, excuse my French, fucking BULLSHIT.

All 25 NATO countries, outside of the US and Turkey, allow openly gay and lesbian peeps to rock the camo. I didn't see the US turning down the help of those countries in the last 10 years and 40 billion dollars worth of wars because they'd be working hand in hand with the 'mos. No army has ever been depleted because people refused to work with openly gay soldiers. No increase in man on man rapes have happened. No one has changed their military uniforms to pink camo. Shit is fine. And yet the US fear mongering right wing coocoos want you to believe that now that gays don't have to lie to serve their country, suddenly the war in Afghanistan is going to look oddly similar to porn you'd find on (don't go to the site, btw, if you don't want to see a lot of balls and penises). They want America to think that gays openly serving in the military is suddenly going to ruin our chances at winning this war. I hate to be the bearing of really fucking OBVIOUS NEWS, but the war has been going on for TEN GOD DAMN YEARS without gays out and we haven't really won anything. I'm pretty sure gays aren't the fucking problem here. And finally, what the teabagging loonies want you to believe, is this "social experiment" of treating everyone equally (something repubs know nothing about) is going to lead to the military having to reprimand every gay dude serving because of like, public fucking and anal fistings. I'm sorry, but despite what Rick "frothy mix" Santorum wants people to believe, it's not about sex. It's not about fisting. It's not about sexual activity or anal sex or blow jobs or military fetish porn. It's about life. It's about boyfriends and relationships and husbands and wives and girlfriends and partners and benefits and pictures and Skype calls and hugging and someone to come home to. I mean, unless every straight person in the military is simply straight because they publicly fuck members of the opposite sex? It's not about that. It's about having the ability to say "hey yeah, my boyfriend's doing great" or "hey, check out this awesome care package my boyfriend's second grade class sent us" or "that's a picture of my girlfriend" or "I can't wait to get off this plane and kiss my boyfriend for the first time in 6 months" or "I put my life on the line and died for my country and I want my legally recognized husband to receive my benefits". It's life. It's reality. It's not hot sweaty man bear sex. It's life.

The other night during a GOP debate, Rick Santorum answered a question via Skype from a soldier currently serving overseas who was for the first time this week allowed to admit on camera that he is gay.

Rick Santorum, as well as all the other GOP candidates present, allowed the audience to boo this man.

Then, Rick Santorum said he would revoke this man's right to serve his country proudly if he were president. He would force that man back into the camo coated closet. Why? Because "no unethical sexual behavior should be permitted in the military".

Really? So why don't we just recruited asexual people? Because gays aren't more likely to fuck on tour than straights. Being gay isn't synonymous with public acts of sex. Its orientation, not behavior. You can be straight and be a virgin. You can be gay and not fuck in public. I know it's hard for these assholes to understand, but their hypocrisy shows no bounds. So if a gay man is not involved in sexual behavior while he's serving, how can you say THAT'S the reason you want to reinstate DADT? Does admitting you have a boyfriend constitute fucking a man in the showers? Does Skyping with your girlfriend equate to scissoring with another female soldier in the mess hall? Sexual behavior is not the same as relationship behavior. So unless you tell the straight dude he can't talk about or TO his wife, this shit holds no water.

And that's just what it is. Stupid hypocrisy. Because while the military has discharged more than 13,000 arabic linguists in the last 10 years due to DADT, they have lowered their recruitment standards to a point where rapists, drug addicts and terrorists, yes, TERRORISTS, those who have made TERRORIST threats against the US, are permitted to serve in the military. Who would you rather have in your bunker? An educated gay dude who speaks fluent arabic and has an impeccable record, or a guy who was convicted of making terrorist threats?

Look, I'm not down with our government to begin with. I don't vote, because I think the whole process of government and elections and representatives is total bullshit. But listening to the "arguments' that favored DADT is like listening to a child try to argue about why they NEED that 700 bike. It's STUPID and PAINFUL and makes you want to DROWN THE KID IN A TOILET. Spoiled, self entitled assholes with no concept of reality screaming about something they don't need.

I don't do war. And I'm certainly not down with the whole situation going on in the Middle East. But I support our troops because they'e all doing shit I could never, and would never do. Because if I joined the military, our country would be invaded and conquered by China within 3 days, guaranteed. But the point is, how could anyone who is a republican, and more than likely is a pro-troops person, look a man in the eye and say "thanks very much for your service and putting your life on the line, but you don't deserve to be recognized, you're a pervert"? Exactly, exactly like Rick Santorum did this week. I don't see Rick Santorum bussing his ass to the worst place on earth with a gun. But he feels himself versed enough to be able to say being gay doesn't make someone capable of making that choice? Please.

I support LGBT rights because they are human rights. I write about the LGBT community because I am part of that community by way of my best friend. I support the repeal of DADT because it only inflicts good on the military and those who are in it. I write about it because it frustrates me and because I hate people who are mean in any way shape or form to Karl. And while Karl would rather shoot himself in the foot than every join the military, if he decided to tomorrow, I would want to do bodily harm to a fucker like Rick Santorum, who looks like the love child of Pee Wee Herman and a ventriloquist doll, said "you are too perverted to serve your country". Fuck these assholes. Ship them to Afghanistan and give them two group choices: Would you rather serve with a group of 7 gay men, who are all at the very least high school educated, with no criminal records, who speak fluent arabic and also include one bomb specialist, or a group of 7 straight "normal" men, 2 of whom have been charged with rape, one of whom has been charged with drug possession, two of whom are former coke addicts, another who was charged with shooting his ex wife, and another who once said "I am going to fill a car full of bombs and blow up the White House because I believe in fundamentalist Islam". Then get back to me, Rick.

Why do I stand so firmly for LGBT rights? Outside of the fact that Karl is gay and a huge part of my life, it's a bigger picture thing. A lot of Americans are desperately gripping to the Leave it to Beaver life. Everyone says the sexual revolution happened in the 60s, but it's still kind of a situation today. With me, I see it all the time. Everytime I get an e-mail or a comment calling me a slut or a whore. Everytime I do an interview and a crazy cookbook lady says my parents must be so ashamed of me. Every day a guy gets to do what I do and get paid for it. It's a matter of standing up to the "traditional" idea and realizing that the reality is better than the traditional. The reality is, I bang around a lot, have a good time, and don't bow down to the idea that women should keep their mouths shut about sex, less they be dubbed a whore. Gays don't bow down to the "stay in the closet or you're an outcast" mantra and it pisses people off. It's a big fight, going up against what's considered "normal" and "appropriate". It's tough trying to show people that what I do isn't "wrong" and what gay people feel isn't "unnatural". It's a tough sell, trying to fight against the majority and trying to change asshole's opinions that are based in stupidity, ignorance, fear, and self-loathing. I stand with the LGBT community because I think the whole "traditional values" bullshit has fucked up enough people's lives, ruined enough lives, hindered enough lives, that I don't want to sit back and say "I wasn't who I am because I wanted some random church lady in Kansas to like me". Fuck that shit. And fuck those people who think they're outlooks are so superior to mine or anyone else's. I live my life the damn well way I choose to. And like the LGBT community, I refuse to be told by assholes on a pulpit that I don't have the right to do that.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for this post! Completely agree!