Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hottie Roster of the Week

God, I haven't done one of these in a WHILE...but with all that's going on, I figured I'd get back into it. Though if I had my choice Nick Schommer would probably just get every one I did, I guess I have to be a little bit more open to new possibilities. Not that I'm giving up on Nick. No no, Nick, darling...I'm following you on Twitter now, it's love kid. It's love.

Anyway, first up is one of my new hockey crushes. Dylan Reese. Kid is SO hot. And he went to Harvard. And when he gives interviews, he doesn't sound like he has a severe concussion. And he isn't Canadian. I mean, he's kind of perfect. He just turned 27 in August (creeper knowledge) was drafted in 2003 by the New York Rangers. He played, like I said, for Harvard and made his professional debut into the NH with the Phoenix Coyotes' AHL affiliate. He then signed to the Bluejackets minor affiliates, and finally the Islanders where he actually made it to the NHL (if you can't make it on the Islanders, you should quit hockey because I know 8 year olds who could play for the Islanders). His stats are that of someone who has had some injuries and been traded around, but I think he has potential. But part of me only thinks that because he is so hot, he should just be on the team because he's a banagable America, of which are extremely underrepresented in the NHL. Dylan, beers, I'm serious. I've already gone out with 2 psychos from Harvard sporting teams, I need something to balance that out.

Next up, I'm going home town love affair and picking Austin Romine. Austin is currently a New York Yankee! What's not to love about that? He'll be 23 in November (makes it less cradle robbing to say that than say he's 22) and he was drafted out of high school in 2007 by the Yanks. He has been listed as one of the top prospects, and dude almost missed his callups to the bigs because he was shopping at Walmart in Kentucky with his girlfriend while Girardi was trying to get him on the phone. I don't know how true this is, but all I keep thinking is maybe eventually he will show up on People of Wallmart. Also, boo on the fucking fact he has a girlfriend. My new best Twitter friend, Chuck Knoblauch, assured me he'd get me a number. CHUCK IS LYING. I'm sorry, it's way late and I'm kind of out of it and rambling. Anyway, he's really hot and he has a solid career ahead of him, if not with the Yankees than someone else. We have a solid lineup of catchers, however, I'd like to see if this kid can throw to second, because that's where our catchers are SORELY lacking. Anyway, here's Austin Romine.

Next, we're going lax nation. He may or may not kill me for this, but whatever, I'm nominating, as my mother knows him, "my buddy" Mitch Belisle. Mitch played for Cornell, and is originally from MD. He played professionally in Boston for a bit and now I think he's got something going on with Minnesota? I don't know, he told me this story but I think I was a couple beers in on this conversation and I don't really remember. Anyway, he's really fucking funny, and is kind of like a non-Jewish Andy Samberg. He rides his bike to work and my friends love him, and he's a hottie so yeah. Mitch gets the bid this week, and he may or may not stop talking to me after this. Also, he doesn't have Greg Brady hair currently like he does in this picture. I think that's something we should all be grateful for. (Mitch, don't hate me).

And finally, I'm going to change it up and give a lady athlete a spot in HRotW. Ladies can be hot too, and I think the entire world would agree that Hope Solo is better at looking pretty than she is blocking penalty kicks from Japanese women. WHAT? True story. Anyway, Hope is the goalie for the US women's national team and helped lead them to a spot in the WWC final this year against Japan. Bitch looks like a super model, and her hair stays perfect during games somehow. She played at the Universit of Washington, has played for a few clubs around the country, has been to two World Cups and the Olympics. She is a solid keeper and now she's on Dancing with the Stars. God help us all. Anyway, considering a lot of lady soccer players look like Stuart Holden (sorry Stu), bitch gives good rep to the hottie female athletes of the world.

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