Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I feel like this should be illegal or something. Where's Chris Hanson on this one?

I remember watching Lizzie McGuire when I was in like... maybe 8th grade? I distinctly remember the episode where her and Miranda go to buy their first bras with Lizzie's mom.

I also remember coming home from my first semester in college and renting "A Cinderella Story" on OnDemand (don't judge me bitches).

And now, Hillary Duff is going to be someone's mom. Bitch was just buying her first training bra and singing about the rain like, yesterday, and now she's having a hockey baby. It's fucking terrifying. Not that she's having a baby. Well actually, yeah, that shit's scary as fuck too and I'm glad it's her and not me, I am to young for stretch marks and baby knee bloat. But the fact that Lizzie Fucking McGuire has gone from tween star to MOTHER. Where has my youth gone?!

I don't mind the Duffster too much. She and Mike Comrie are low key and basically the budget version of Carrie Underwood and Mike Fischer. Comrie is currently with Pitt, having signed a one year, $500k contract last year. But honestly, Duffster is like a one man Olsen twin organization. She has all those companies that you'd never think would generate money, like nail polish and kids clothes in Walmart and shit. She's got bank, and he's got the jersey. I hate admitting it, but I like them together and I'm happy for them. If Lizzie wants to embark on an adventure that includes fat gain, uncontrollable farting, morning sickness, stretch marks, sore tits, maternity clothes, titty leaking, and vagina tears, that's absolutely her right and I wish her the best. I don't do babies, but considering Duff spent a good portion of her childhood making a lot of little girls squeal with delight, I think she has a decent shot at raising a kid.

Congrats to Mike and Duffster!


  1. I totally agree, but my friend pointed out that it's only weird because she's not having Gordo's baby!

  2. Comrie was cut from the Pens, I thought. He is currently without a team and is considering retirement. Don't quote me on this, though.

  3. Comrie is actually the heir to a pretty substantial fortune. His family owns a Canada wide furniture chain like The Brick or Duferene Furniture...He has more money then her, but not as much as Underwood

  4. I miss Lizzie McGuire!! :(