Monday, September 19, 2011

Vagina double standards

I don't even know where to begin with what my weekend was. As my friend Jock said, Saturday night was like a Stefon skit from Saturday Night live. Are you looking for a fun Saturday night? Well look no further than Diablo Royale Este (seriously, that's where we were). This place has EVERYTHING. Fainting chicks, lacrosse players with scottish accents, gay paramedics, fire trucks, ambulance rides for three, crackheads hiding under sheets, sock bandit victims from Goldman Sachs.

Needless to say, a short trip to the ER ensued and let me just say if you want a free fucking comedy show on a Saturday night, go sit in Beth Israel hospital at 3 in the morning. It was fun for the firs two hours, but then we realized my friend wasn't going to die and if she was, the people at Beth Israel were less concerned than I was and I'd probably have more of a shot saving her, so I took her home. But still, this was my weekend. This is why I rarely venture to the East Village. Shady shit happens. But this is what it looked like before the ER. Also, best line of the night goes to me. While sitting in the waiting room in the ER, some prep star walks in looking straight off the ferry from Nantucket. Floodsy khakis, button down, loafers, you know the drill. He looked like a total tool. He also looked like someone went Patrick Bateman on his face. He was there for stitches above his left eyes. Apparently, he claims he walked into a sign post while "staring at hot chicks in the street" (happens to me ALL the time!). To which I responded., "let's be real dude. Did the same guy who fucked up your face steal your socks too?"

Clearly my compassion for the sick and injured knows no bounds.

ANYWAY, while I'd love to go on about how I always end up with a serious FAIL story when I go out on the weekends, I'd like to move on to something more on target.

I've done a ton of posts about sexting in the last year. Clearly, Grady Sizemore is one of my most favorite people ever. I once had a guy send me a similar pic, but it included a Listerine bottle, not a coffee cup. I have since deleted it, as he turned out to be a dick (no pun intended), but I appreciated the effort.

I am all for sexting. This may one day come back to bite me in the ass, but considering I post enough shameless pics on this site on my own, and this blog in general has limited my ability to probably get a "normal" job in the near future, it's not my biggest concern in life. I have sent a fair amount of pics to boys in my lifetime. Like I said, what I can do with a 3MP camera is worth of a Pulitzer.

I also know that long distance relationships suck. Having been with enough athletes who were never less than 100 miles away from me at any given time, it's not like you can have sex whenever you want. You have to keep the relationship fun, intimate, sexy, when you can't be in the same bed naked together. Sexting saves a lot of relationships. It also ruins a lot of relationships if not done with the other half of the relationship lol. But let's skip that part for now..

Mind you, I'm not saying like, get tagged giving head to some random dude. Smart, sensible and not frighteningly graphic always seemed to work for me.

So when pictures surface and ruin lives, it bothers me. A lot. Especially because more often than not, it's women who get fucked (again, no pun intended) by photo leaks. Grady Sizemore had dick pics all over the internet. He still plays baseball (why, I have no idea). He didn't get fired or threatened, sued or suspended. Throw that same situation to a woman who works in an office, or in this case, for NASCAR, and you'd have a different story.

While I was down in Alabama, I met a girl named Paige. She is awesome. Down home, sweet as can be from South Carolina, really pretty, outgoing, cool, down to earth. She made my whole experience down there better because she was one of the "other side" girls who was just chill and down for bullshitting and laughing.

I found out Paige used to be a NASCAR Sprint Cup girl. She's also a model and she's a total hottie. She fit in with NASCAR very well (I actually mean that in a good way, not a beer belly, mullet, dirty wife beater with sweat stains way).

And then pictures from a few years ago surfaced. Nothing crazy. Nothing Rhianna didn't do, or ScarJo, or moi. Nothing graphic or horribly disgusting. Just some nudie pics she sent to her boyfriend at the time.

And then she got fired.

Needless to say, girl will land on her feet. She's gorgeous and cool and something else will pop up for her. But I just found it really dick that something she did, privately, came out and not even by her, and she was let go. I know there are like, image situations and what not. But she's still beautiful and cool and a good fit for what she was doing. Those pictures from years ago, had nothing to do with what she was doing or how she was representing NASCAR. Just like Grady Sizemore's pictures didn't represent Major League Baseball or, at the time, the Cleveland Indians. And if you think people who go and watch NASCAR haven't done the same shit, you're totally mistaken. It's the fucking south.

In getting to know Paige, I think I got more defensive because she's a hip girl with a good attitude. And a lot of people would go as far as to say "she made a mistake, she should have known better". No. A mistake is fucking adding an extra "0" while doing equity trading and losing UBS 2 billion dollars. That's a fucking mistake. Sharing shit with someone you're with, or hell even someone you just wanna bang, isn't a mistake. Being 18 and being proud of your body, not a mistake. Privately sending pictures to a dude you're dating, not a mistake. And I don't think Paige should be apologizing to ANYONE. Something she did in private, that neither hurt anyone or effected her ability to perform her duties at NASCAR, should have no bearing on this situation. It's NASCAR for Christ's sake, not the Supreme Court. They make the girls look like total hotties, tight outfits, makeup, hair, tits out. I mean, Paige is really smart and shit, but they aren't putting these girls in the winner's circle to discuss world fucking peace or the deficit ceiling. Paige is hot and what she chooses to do with her hotness (that sounds so weird but you know what I mean) shouldn't be totally dictated by the fucking rednecks at NASCAR. She's a grown ass woman.

I feel bad for her that pictures leaked, because I know not everyone is as forthright about sex and stuff as I am. She trusted that those would be kept private, and they weren't, and whoever leaked them is a total dbag. But I think she is a good chickie and doesn't deserve the slack she got for what happened. I also hope that if nothing else, next time she sends pics, if she does, she gets some collateral because one thing I have learned is you always need something to come back with. I've sent a lot of pics in my time, but trust me when I say I've gotten many back in return. In fact, I have a password protected file on my computer that is basically a whole lot of torso and pubic hair. Why? Because I would know exactly who leaked which pic if pics ever leaked, and I have WAY less to lose than most of these guys do. I would never leak them just for shits and giggles. But you always have to have something in your corner too.

At the end of the day, I'm not like, advocating for people to send naked pics of themselves to other people, because I think a lot of people are dumb and don't get the potential consequences of it. But I also think that the consequences of sending pics shouldn't be what they generally are, especially for women. It's so easy to label a girl a slut, a whore, a "cum dumpster" when something remotely sexual is brought to light about the girl's personal life. Everything else the girl has ever done or accomplished can be wiped off the fucking map with one picture of an ass or a left tit in a mirror reflection. And I just think that's retarded. If it came out that Mother Theresa was sending text pictures of herself to Jesus, would it negate all the good shit she did in her life? If pictures of Angelina Jolie surfaced that were originally sent to Brad Pitt, would it change the 4 billion babies she's adopted or the 3rd world countries she's bought and tried to rebuild? I'm going with a no. People have sex. People have naked bodies. People have feelings and like to be intimate. And I would hope that if my boss found out I have sex a lot (my boss knows this actually), I would hope he wouldn't fire me just because of something that I do, along with 97% of the population. I hate going all bra burner on you, but women need to wake the fuck up and realize men get away with everything, while women get blamed for everything. If a man cheats, it's biology. If a man fucks 400 women, it's biology. If a man sends naked pictures, it's funny. It's a man's world and women need to start saying "fuck you". Nude pictures doesn't make a person less capable of performing a job. Fucking 100 guys, doesn't make a person less capable of performing a job. Owning 12 vibrators, doesn't make a person less capable of doing a job. Having a sex drive, enjoying sex, doesn't make someone a slut or less capable of performing a God damn job. And the fact that men get away with this shit way more often than women do says a lot about the control of the situation. Me, Paige and Karen Owen need to work on a whole "women can have a good time too you assholes" forum. I might have to invest in this.

1 comment:

  1. "If it came out that Mother Theresa was sending text pictures of herself to Jesus, would it negate all the good shit she did in her life?"

    Had a good laugh. Thanks Stef.