Friday, May 11, 2012

Stef's Politico Message of the Year

So I know I haven't gotten as many posts up this week as I hoped, but with the Brobible stuff and another project underway, extra shifts so I can actually pay bills, I literally slept for 17 hours last night. I promise this weekend there will be more scathing, shit talking articles about sex and sports, so LAY OFF. Just kidding. But seriously, chill.

For a hot sec before I have to hop in the shower after my 17 hour nap, I wanted to talk about Bristol Palin. Because she's been making the waves the last 24 hours (17 of which, did I mention I was sleeping?) about her blog (or rather her blog written by her ghostwriter because, seriously, bitch please). Now, I kind of get why this girl is "famous". She is single handedly the representation of conservative hypocrisy in the 13-25 age range. Where as all the closeted gay reps and pastors hit the 40-80 range. Bitch has all these opinions about her mom (fine) and politics (really?) and social norms (mmmk). And she doesn't even have her high school diploma. So pardon me if I don't take a word this girl says seriously, and if every time she speaks I opt to rip her words to shreds.

Long story short, if you don't know what she said this week, you can go here to check it out. It's too long. But she basically insinuated two things - one, DEMOCRATIC LIBERAL HYPOCRISY FEAR!!!!! And two, Obama is making major political decisions not at the aid and suggestion of his cabinet or congress or people who know shit, but by the requests of his daughters Malia and Sasha. He had mentioned in his recent monumental yet pandering announcement that sitting at the dinner table listening to his daughters, some of whom have friends with same sex parents, it would never be in their world view that those friends' parents who be treated differently. And he said that was a huge eye opener for him.

So first, Bristol goes on to say liberal hypocrisy because when Michelle Bachmann (remember her? her husband is hitting the 40-80 age range of conservative hypocrisy as he looks like the fat gay character from Modern Family) said she'd be "submissive to her husband like a good Christian", she got raked across the coals. 

Look chickie, huge difference between doing whatever the fuck your husband says because you believe in the Bible, and listening to your kid's story about how at soccer practice Janet's two moms were so cool because they brought Gatorade instead of water and thinking "wow, my kids don't even see lines of difference". So, let's leave the HYPOCRISY AND ANTIFEMINISM!!!! fear caps alone for a bit. There's a huge difference between being biblically submissive to a man and listening to your kids talk about their lives and considering it, and if you don't believe me, go read the Bible.

Second, she goes on to talk about how his kids watch too much Glee, and Obama should be a leader and lead his family to "the right way of thinking". Which apparently is that gay marriage is wrong. When Sasha or Malia talk about their friends' families, he shouldn't just nod his head and smile like my dad used to do, he should say "now, let me make this clear, they might be nice people but THEY ARE NOT REALLY MARRIED AND IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE. Who scored the winning goal?"

Bitch, you got knocked up by some fucking loser who posed for Playgirl and then knocked up another snowbilly blonde with clumpy ass eyelashes (see here. "we forgot the birth control pills" I love it), he owes you money, you didn't graduate high school or even attempt college but you had time to go on Dancing with the Stars and get neck fat lipoed off your face, and unlike other women in your position, because of your fake fame made from your mother's inability to read a map and your inability to wrap it up, you got to buy a house in Arizona for $140k. Want to talk about reality? Maybe if your parents were more open to the fact that teenagers have sex no matter how many times they're told not to, instead of pretending you were hanging out with Levi for his interesting conversation, and had the "being safe is better than hiding it" talk like my mom had, you'd have gone to a gyno, gotten on the pill and not had a baby before you were old enough to even vote for your mother when she was running. Maybe if your dad was a leader, you wouldn't have been fucking with a guy who can't spell moose, but loves to hunt them. I'm not the biggest fan of Obama, but I'm a HUGE fan of reality and the reality is gay people exist, they raise kids, they are happy most of the time, people have sex, not everyone who has sex wants babies and therefore they should be educated about access to birth control, and no, your mom can't see Russia from your house. That's reality. She claims Obama's kids watch too much Glee and are garnering their reality from there? Well I'd rather my kids garner a sense of reality from Glee than a sense of reality from Teen Mom 2. PS - there was a student on Glee who was pregnant, so really Bristol? You must have missed that season. Also, considering "vanity" is a deadly sin, maybe you should have skipped that season of Extreme Makeover before you got the fat sucked out of your neck. Or, I'm sorry, was that for medical purposes?

I don't know why this girl's 15 minutes of fame stretched into four years of assholery, but sweet Jesus, someone needs to get her a PR person who isn't Michelle Bachmann's husband. At the end of the day, I do believe Obama is pandering a bit because they gay vote will matter, especially with this nonsense in North Carolina (fun fact of the day: the last time NC tried to change its constitution regarding marriage, it was to ban interracial marriages back in 1876), and I find the "but states should be allowed to make their own laws about gay marriage" to be a safe cop out to a very unsafe but LOGICAL statement of "I support gay marriage", at the end of the day, whatever reason he said it, he's right. There is nothing remotely right about Bristol Palin's opinion. Nothing. She has no clear definition of reality and certainly lives a life that only women who have appeared on Teen Mom have led. Is it mean that part of me is hoping her son turns out gay? Because I wonder if then when her 16 year old bastard child comes up and says "mom, everyone is bullying me because I'm gay, and I can't take it anymore", she will turn around and say "that's really nice sweetheart, but being gay isn't right, you should never be allowed to get married and stop watching Glee, it's rotting your mind". 

Bitch. Please.


So I posted a link to this blog post on Palin's own blog comment section, and while it was read by her blog's admins ( can see the admin page is an URL resource), the comment itself was declined. So much for open dialogue sweet pea. If you can't hack the criticism, don't write it. 


  1. Best article I've read in monthes. Bravo